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S Ji .S S xL AND 


SATIRE 



BASED UPON 



Nineteenth Century Philosophy 



WM. L. BREYFOGLE. 



Find here some food for thought, 
And some for contradiction : 

Some lines a little overwrought, 
But much more truth than fiction. 



ILLUSTRATIONS BY 
JOHN W. BREYFOGLE. 



Chicago and New York: 
RAND McNALLY & COMPANY. 

PUBLISHERS. 







%^ 



Cy'K 



Copyright, 1899, SV^o^S'^^Breyfogle. 
TWO 



COPIES^ECEIVED. 









TO 
MY INFANT GRANDDAUGHTER, 

DOROTHY 

THIS WORK IS AFFECTIONATELY 
INSCRIBED. 



Your name, little Dorothy, means "Gift of God' 
May you ever be spared His chastening rod ! 
Your life, may it be long-continued and sweet ; 
Be strength given you all its troubles to meet. 



INTRODUCTION. 

± 

IJJTOWEVER mixed the text, 

^ U One always recollects 
A bit of illustration made in rli3rme ; 

One elaborates a thought 

When in epigram it's wrought, 
Not accounting the ellipses any crime. 

This work was first begun 

In sketches made in fun, 
When only illustration was intended ; 

But, as herein is shown, 

In volume it has grown. 
Though no peculiar merit was pretended. 

To the young folk, who are heedless. 

The within advice is needless — 
They much prefer the brighter side of life ; 

But the older generation 

Will regard with veneration 
Truths which served them well in sempiternal strife. 



INTRODUCTION. 



Since personality's not intended, 

Why should any be offended? 
For comparison is placed out of reach ; 

Though like lines which nature places 

In the varied human faces. 
There's a distinctive difference in each. 

To critics here's a field 

Of suggestions new, revealed, 

In definitions, lessons taught, and rhyme ; 
We meekly bow the head 
To their lenience as they read ; 

Everything will work out rightfully in time. 



NDEX 



PAGE 

Absence 28 

Abuse.. .. 130 

Accidents 153 

Actor 66 

Acquaintance 221 

Admiration .- i 

Adulation i 

Advertising 107 

Adventurer .. 140 

Advice .. -- 46 

Adversity ■.. 154 

Affectation 146 

Affection 29 

Age 36 

Aggravation 229 

Aggression .. .. 191 

Agitation 195 

Alimony 116 

Ambition 27 

Anarchist 114 

Ancestor 113 

Anomaly .. .. 212 

Anticipation 165 

Antipathy 47 

Antiquarian .. __ .. ._ 221 

Anxiety 185 

Apologist 106 

Apology 219 

Appetite 22 

Appreciation .. .. .. .. 147 

Approbation 29 

Appropriation 157 

Arbitration .. .. .. .. 140 



PAGE 

Argument 102 

Aristocracy .. .. .. .. 23 

Art 107 

Artist 106 

Artificial .. .. 179 

Artlessness 219 

Assassination 160 

Assertion 220 

Assessment 176 

Association.. .. .. .. .. 129 

Assurance .. .. .. .. .. 44 

Athlete 224 

Attraction 236 

Author 60 

Authority .. 180 

Authentication 71 

Autograph 62 

Avarice . . 50 

Awkwardness 66 

"Dachelor-maid 64 

Bacteria 138 

Baldness 53 

Banker 119 

Bankruptcy .. 145 

Bargain 213 

Baseball 82 

Beau .. .. 79 

Beauty 7 

Beggar .. .. 143 

Bicyclist _. .. .. .. .. 7 

Biography 224 

Birthday .. .. 156 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Blood 75 

Blonde II 

Bluff 228 

Bookworm 75 

Bond - 100 

Brains 161 

Breadwinner .. .. .. .. 35 

Bribery 182 

Bride 56 

Broker _ .. .. .. 89 

Brunette _ .. 11 

Brusqueness .. .. .. .. 113 

Burdens 202 

Business .. .. 27 

r^ad .. .. ^. 20 

Campaign 203 

Candor 185 

Candidate .. .. 35 

Capital _ IS 

Care 138 

Carelessness 186 

Cashier 136 

Caution.. 81 

Ceremonies .. 209 

Certainty .. .. .. .. ._ 72 

Challenge 155 

Champion 225 

Charity 8 

Character 185 

Charlatan 26 

Cheerfulness 201 

Chess 175 

Chewing Gum .. .. .. .. 199 

Children 52 

Chirography .. .. .. .. 165 

Christianity 55 

Christian Science 26 

Christmas 41 

Circulation 187 

Civilization. 147 

Clairvoyance 69 



PAGE 

Classification 178 

Cleanliness 9 

Cleverness .. .. .. .. .. 152 

Client 226 

Clown .. 48 

Club .. .. .. .. .. .. 98 

Collection .. .. loi 

Collector 39 

College Graduate iii 

Cold Feet .. .. 188 

Combinations 215 

Comedian .. 197 

Commerce 69 

Committee .. 13s 

Commissions 63 

Compensation .. .. .. .. 24 

Competition 215 

Compliments 141 

Complaint 167 

Concealment 210 

Concentration .. 47 

Conceit 125 

Condemnation 178 

Confidence 2 

Confirmation .. .. .. .. 177 

Congratulations 149 

Connoisseur 236 

Conquest .. 112 

Consanguinity 160 

Conservatism .. 170 

Consideration 61 

Consultation .. .. .. .. 212 

Contribution 226 

Contentment 2 

Contempt 161 

Contingent .. .. .. .. .. 49 

Contractor 120 

Conversation 113 

Conviviality .. .. .. .. 218 

Cook 34 

Coquetry 32 

Corporation 71 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Correspondence 29 

Costume .. .. .. .. .. 125 

Courtship .. no 

Courage 234 

Crank 114 

Credibility 221 

Creditor .. .. 141 

Credit 154 

Creed ig8 

Credulity 118 

Cribbage 100 

Critic .. 95 

Cruelty 181 

Cuisine 92 

Curiosity 223 

Custom 117 

Cynic .. .. .. .. .. .. 106 

"Tvainties 24 

Damages 130 

Dancing 71 

Daughter-in-law ._ .. .. 93 

Dawn 68 

Death .. .. 102 

Debutante .. 80 

Debt 234 

Debtor _ 142 

Deceit 20 

Dedication _ 213 

Defeat 151 

Defendant 85 

Degeneracy 38 

Demagogue 52 

Denial 171 

Dentist .. .. 85 

Denominations 237 

Denunciation .. .. _. .. 82 

Deposition 135 

Desolation 99 

Despondency .. 91 

Destiny.- 211 

Detective .. ._ 168 



PAGE 

Deviation 177 

Devotion 73 

Difficulties 203 

Dignity 137 

Diplomacy 97 

Disaster 115 

Disappointment 47 

Discipline 233 

Discord 215 

Discourse .. .. .. .. .. 217 

Discretion .. 159 

Disease 70 

Disgruntled 176 

Disguise 146 

Displeasure 162 

Dissipation 230 

Distrust 21 

Divorce 139 

Dollar 58 

Dowry 42 

Dreams.. 76 

Dress 45 

Dyspeptic .. .. 186 

Tj^avesdropper 233 

Economy 51 

Editor .. 183 

Education 45 

Egotist .. 90 

Electricity .. 171 

Elocution .. .. 214 

Emergency 78 

Emoluments 129 

Employe 61 

Endurance 224 

Entertainments 206 

Enthusiasm 67 

Environments 163 

Envy 31 

Epicure 137 

Epitaph 108 

Equality .. .. 179 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Equanimity 63 

Equity 232 

Essay .. .. .. 78 

Estimation 175 

Etiquette .. .. 63 

Euchre __ 88 

Evasion 172 

Evidence 169 

Exaction 121 

Exaggeration 172 

Excuses 40 

Exercise 13 

Expectation .. .. .. .. 123 

Experience 188 

Experiment 193 

Explanation 82 

Extravagance 54 

Tj^acts 190 

Fads 42 

Faith 44 

Faithfulness 184 

Faithlessness 184 

Fakir .. .- 16 

Fame _- 60 

Familiarity .. .. 85 

Farmer 150 

Fashion 24 

Fear _ .. 139 

Fiancee.. 103 

Fiction _ 179 

Fidelity 12 

Finances 35 

Financier 125 

Flattery 56 

Flirtation .. .. 117 

Flowers _ 55 

Food .. 38 

Fool 143 

Football 83 

Forgery .. .. 158 

Fortune .. .. 210 



PAGE 

Franchise 219 

Friends _ .. .. 98 

Friendship .. 20 

Friendliness 158 

Fun 62 

Qaiety go 

Gambling 77 

Garrulousness 202 

Gas .. _. .. .. 136 

Genealogy .. .. 237 

Generosity .. .. 5 

Genius nS 

Ghosts 166 

Glamour .. .. 184 

Golf .. .. .. 83 

Gossip 19 

Government 96 

Grand .. 87 

Gratitude 195 

Groom ._ 55 

Guarantee 130 

Guest 194 

TlJabit 183 

Hairdresser .. .. .. 119 

Hair .. __ .. __ .. ._ 204 

Happiness 202 

Hard Times __ 58 

Harmony _ 74 

Hate 31 

Health __ __ 73 

Hearts 88 

Heartlessness 181 

Hedging .. .. 114 

Heredity 104 

Heiress 137 

Hero 108 

Heroine _. _. ig6 

Hobbies .. ._ 14 

Home .- .. .. .. .. -. 150 

Homeliness.- 61 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Honesty 4 

Honor 176 

Hope 44 

Horse Trader 127 

Hospitality 19 

Hospital 167 

Hostility 169 

Hotel Manager 89 

Housekeeper 34 

Human Nature 127 

Humanity 21 

Humility 26 

Husband - 191 

Hypnotism 115 

Hypocrisy 122 

Hysteria 133 

Tdentification 131 

Idiocy 153 

Igfnorance .. .. 163 

Illness 9 

Illustration 108 

Imagination 11 

Imbroglio 198 

Imitation 162 

Immorality.. .. 54 

Immortality 139 

Impecuniosity 227 

Impersonation .. .. .. .. 220 

Impetuosity 187 

Impossibility 155 

Incompatibility 121 

Incongruous .. 146 

Incorrigible 5 

Indecision 2 

Independence 140 

Indifference .. .. .. .. 180 

Infatuation i 

Infidel 54 

Information .. 189 

Ing^ratitude 92 

Injunction .. .. .. .. .. 206 



PAGE 

Inoculation 205 

Insinuation igo 

Insolence 237 

Inspection 204 

Inspiration 69 

Insult 199 

Insurance, Life 30 

Insurance, Fire 135 

Intellect 25 

Intelligence _. 225 

Intemperance .. 53 

Interest 39 

Intimacy 170 

Intrigue 165 

Introduction 208 

Intuition 164 

Invalidism 10 

Inventor .. .. 62 

Inventory 166 

Investigation 23 

Investment 214 

Invitation .. 113 

Irrepressibility 65 

Isolation 14 

Jealousy 138 

Jewelry .. 182 

Journalism 200 

Judge 43 

Junior 74 

Jurisdiction 133 

Jury _. 43 

Justice 126 

Justification .. 177 

T7"indness 235 

Kinks 79 

Kiting .. .. 158 

Kleptomania .. 32 

Knowledge .. .. .. .. 163 



INDEX. 



pagB 

T abor i6 

Laconism 68 

Laggard 229 

Landlord 172 

Laughter .. .. 148 

Lawyer 60 

Lecture .. 67 

Legality 220 

Liar 154 

Liberality 3 

Librarian 210 

Library .. 109 

Life 175 

Litigation .. .. 145 

Liver Complaint 189 

Logician .. .. 149 

Lottery .. .. 46 

Love 92 

Loyalty 152 

Luck 6 

Luminary .. .. 145 

Luxuries .. 3 

ly/Tanicure 76 

Manners 14 

Manufacturer 194 

Manuscript 109 

Marble Heart m 

Marriage 123 

Matchmaker no 

Meddler 87 

Medicine _. 86 

Memory 6 

Menace 227 

Menu .. 222 

Merchant 90 

Middleman .. 201 

Milliner 25 

Millionaire 36 

Mind Reader 91 

Miner 166 

Minister .. 95 



PAGE 

Misanthrope 230 

Misfortune 218 

Missing Link 235 

Misstatements 7 

Mistakes 229 

Mockery 41 

Modesty 18 

Money 23 

Money Lender 142 

Monopolies .. .. 204 

Morals 228 

Mortgage 234 

Mother 80 

Mother-in-law .. .. .. .. 93 

Music .. 32 

Mutiny .. .. 72 

■jVTeatness , .. .. 134 

Necessities .. .. .. 39 

Negotiations 223 

Nervous Prostration .. .. 189 

Neutrality 157 

New Leaf 4 

Newspaper 162 

New Woman 209 

Nostalgia 118 

/^besity .. .. .. .. .. 46 

Obituary 49 

Obligation 174 

Obsequies 30 

Obsequiousness 96 

Observation 173 

Obstacles 208 

Obstinacy 10 

Obtuseness .. .. 156 

Opinions 174 

Opportunities .. _. .. .. g 

Opposition .. .. .. .. .. 134 

Oppression - .. .. 190 

Optimist .. .. 81 

Opulence .. .. .. .. .. 232 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Oratory 75 

Organization 232 

Orgies 129 

Osculation 194 

Ovation 18 

"pacification 216 

Palmist - 97 

Parlor 72 

Parsimony .. 51 

Passion 37 

Pathos 196 

Patient 228 

Patience 206 

Patrimony 142 

Patriotism .. .. 91 

Pauper .. 186 

Pawn Broker 169 

Peacemaker 216 

Penuchle 89 

Pedigree .. 102 

Pension 212 

Perquisite 211 

Perspicuity . . . . 207 

Pessimist 81 

Petition 227 

Philanthropist i68 

Philosophy 57 

Physician 70 

Pin Money 164 

Plaintiff 84 

Plagiarism .. .. 160 

Pleasure .. 164 

Pledge 144 

Poet -. .. .. IS 

Poetry 74 

Poison 159 

Poker n6 

Policy 58 

Politeness .. 97 

Politician .. 128 

Popularity .. .'. .. .. .. 18 



PAGE 

Poverty 50 

Power 124 

Praise .. .. .. .. .. .. 126 

Prediction 107 

Prejudice .. .. 195 

Premonition 200 

Prescription 148 

Pretention 155 

Pride 48 

Prime 94 

Prima Donna 127 

Primitiveness 4 

Principles 143 

Privilege .. .. 191 

Problem 8 

Proclivities.. no 

Procrastination .. .. .. 53 

Prodigal 116 

Profanity 112 

Proficiency 198 

Profundity 144 

Program .. 214 

Progress 133 

Promise 40 

Promoter 109 

Proposition 5 

Proposal .. .. 112 

Prosperity .. 17 

Prospects 64 

Protection .. .. 77 

Protest 132 

Proverbs .. .. .. .. .. 225 

Prudence 93 

Pugfnacious 68 

Punishment 218 

/Qualification 178 

"D ailroad Man 173 

Rebuke 199 

Reciprocity 201 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Recklessness 31 

Reforms 168 

Refinement 182 

Relative loi 

Relics 103 

Religion 65 

Remembrance 104 

Reminiscences 192 

Remorse 128 

Renouncement .. 148 

Repentance 37 

Representation m 

Repudiation 33 

Reputation 128 

Resentment 208 

Resignation 193 

Resistance .. 19 

Respectability 59 

Responsibility ug 

Restitution 187 

Restraint ,.. .. 211 

Restriction 197 

Reticence .. .. 222 

Retrospection 205 

Reviewing 216 

Riches 65 

Ridicule 59 

Roue 51 

Rowing 84 

Rudeness 38 

Qacrifice 213 

Salary 40 

Sanctity 193 

Santa Claus 76 

Sanitorium 28 

Sarcasm .. .. 57 

Satisfaction 200 

Scandal 126 

Schemer .. .. .. ._ .. 207 

Schools .. ._ 217 

Science 33 



PAGE 

Scruples _. 12 

Scrutiny 226 

Sculpture 203 

Second Marriage .. .. .. 73 

Secretiveness 132 

Secret ._ 15 

Security 151 

Self-made Man 94 

Selfishness __ 25 

Self Respect .. 231 

Sensitiveness 78 

Separation 132 

Serenity .. .. 132 

Shame .. .. .. .. .. .. 41 

Shopping 188 

Shortage .. .. 49 

Shrewdness.. 131 

Simplicity 147 

Sincerity ' .. .. 151 

Situation .. .. 48 

Skeleton .. .. 205 

Skill .. 134 

Slander 3 

Sleep .. 30 

Smoke 192 

Smoking Car 100 

Snob 21 

Snoring 6 

Society .. 99 

Solitaire 87 

Son-in-law 94 

Somnambulism 22 

Sorrow 64 

Specialist .. .. .. .. .. 84 

Spectacles .. .. 174 

Speculator 120 

Spelling 156 

Spendthrift .. .. 230 

Statesman 124 

State's Attorney 43 

Stenographer 16 

Stepchildren .. .. .. .. 122 



INDEX. 



PAGE 

Stepfather 121 

Stepmother ._ .. .. -- 122 

Stipulation 157 

Strategy 86 

Student ._ 217 

Subterfuge ,_ 77 

Suburbanite 117 

Success 95 

Successor _ .- .. loi 

Sunset 161 

Superstition 27 

Supremacy 222 

Surgeon 70 

Surplus 105 

Suspense - .. 233 

Suspicion .. 66 

Sympathy .. 10 

Syndicate 123 

System 141 

Swindler 153 

n^act 105 

Taste 120 

Teacher 34 

Technical 167 

Telegram -_ 192 

Temptation 231 

Temperament 131 

Temper 180 

Tennis 83 

Testimonial 136 

Theater 236 

Theosophy .. .- 79 

Thought 8 

Threat 209 

Time 45 

Timidity 86 

Tippling - 231 

Titles 99 

Tobacco - -- 223 

Toothache .. .. 67 

Tourist .. .. .. 98 



PAGE 

Tracts .. _ 22 

Tradition _ 13 

Tragedian 197 

Tramp _ 170 

Traitor 149 

Triumph 150 

Trouble .- .. 28 

Trust -- 124 

Truth S9 

Twilight - 105 

TTndertaker .. 171 

"VTanity 17 

Vengeance 104 

Versatility 12 

Vexation 235 

Villain 196 

Virago 181 

Virtue .. 17 

Vituperation 207 

TXT age-Earner .. ,. _. 144 

Weather _ 159 

Wedding _. .. 56 

Whisky _. 183 

Whist 88 

Widower 37 

Widow 57 

Wife -- 103 

Wild Oats 42 

Wine 33 

Wisdom 96 

Wit 50 

Witness 13 

Woman 52 

Wrecked 173 

"VTouth 36 



SENSE AND SATIRE 



ADMIRATION 

A TRIBUTE TO SUPERIOR QUALITIES. 

'ir'RULY it is a gift divine 

To see that others us outshine, 
And give to jealousy no part 
In the quick promptings of the heart. 

ADULATION 

LENDING YOUR TRUMPET TO OTHERS. 

i^T times spontaneous it seems, 

And sprung from a sufficient cause ; 
Better is silence, wisdom deems, — 
The greatest men despise applause. 

INFATUATION 

THE INSANITY OP PASSION. 

'nr'HRICE cursed is he whose jaundiced sight 

Turns Age to Youth, and Wrong to Right ; 
A few brief hours he holds his course, 
Then spends a life in deep remorse. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONFIDENCE 

TEACHING OTHERS THE COMBINATION OP YOUR SAFE. 

y^ WEAKNESS it is to e'er turn the slide 

For others to see what you keep inside; 
Your vanity's flattered a trifle, 'tis true, 
Till your secret comes back, through others, to you. 

INDECISION 

A FORERUNNER OF FATAL RESULTS. 

^OUR caution excessive, one can condone — 

There's nothing unusual in that — 
If you only have lime enough in your backbone 
To whitewash the top of your hat. 



CONTENTMENT 

A VIRTUE ONLY ATTAINABLE THROUGH FORGETFULNESS. 

'ir'HE standards we aim at, again and again. 

Are often impossible to attain ; 
Contentment and Happiness reign complete 
When the world is forgotten, and one's asleep. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SLANDER 

HIDING THE TRUTH. 

(S^LANDER'S a sharp-toothed destroyer, 

To death it should always be hunted ; 
But thanks to the low, modern lawyer, 
Our feelings are very much blunted. 

LUXURIES 

COMFORTS DIFFICULT TO SEPARATE FROM NECESSITIES. 

'tFO Specify what Luxuries are, 

Consider past environments ; 
If youth were passed in different states. 
Different will be requirements. 

LIBERALITY 

THE PRODUCT OP GREATNESS. 

^tFRUE greatness in a given line, 

Can not, in narrow things, define 
The elements which gave it birth, 
But generous deeds will show their worth. 

3 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



NEW LEAF 

THE EMBLEM OF FAILURE. 

'^OUR hat-band is gaudily trimmed, 

At the opening of each year, 
With " New-Leaf " resolutions, 
Which in time will disappear. 



PRIMITIVENESS 

ANCIENT SUGGESTIONS. 

II N latter-day society 

Plain ways are apt to meet reproof, 
But if in strict propriety, 
They approximate the truth. 



HONESTY 

A VIRTUE USUALLY FOUND AMONG THE POOR. 

'tFEMPTATION tries the common mass, 

But it controls the wealthy class. 
The crying evil of the hour 
Is greed for gain, display, and power. 

4 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



GENEROSITY 

LOANING WITHOUT COLLATERAL. 

/^ LOAN, unless it's well secured, 

Is the hardest thing to be procured ; 
Most people think it will suffice, 
Instead of money, to loan advice. 



PROPOSITION 

A SUGGESTION REQUIRING CONSIDERATION. 

/^ PROPOSITION that's one-sided 

Will in interest never lag ; 
But you'll find a hole's provided, 
In the bottom of the bag. 

$ 
INCORRIGIBLE 

REFUSING TO BE GOVERNED. 

<S^OME human beings are so perverse 

That they can never be controlled. 
But downward go, from bad to worse, 
Till in the Law's relentless hold. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MEMORY 

A DEPRESSING ATTRIBUTE. 



fi^ EMORY'S depressing, because of its range, 

Which, passing the pleasures of Life, 
Reaches back to every mysterious change 
And sorrow, and pain, and strife. 



SNORING 

ASSERTING ONE'S INDIVIDUALITY. 

(S^ILENCE is of death suggestive, 
Filling the mind with dread ; 
Snoring is always expressive, 
It proves the man's not dead. 



LUCK 

THE SUBTERFUGE OF INCOMPETENCY. 

/^^NE sees the difference at a glance. 

When "Brains" are weighed alike with chance; 
Ignorance, when it runs amuck, 
Cries out in rage, and curses Luck. 

6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



BEAUTY 

A PICTURE SHOWN THROUGH VARIOUS COLORED GLASSES. 

I^EAUTY is in thine eyes — 

Those windows of the Soul, that seem 
To light one through a dream 

From Heaven's own skies. 



MISSTATEMENTS 

DISTORTION OF FACTS. 

Ij^ISSTATEMENTS do expose themselves, 
To people shrewd and thrifty ; 



The profit in a one hundred sale 
Can't be one hundred and fifty. 



BICYCLIST 

THE ENGINEER OP HIS OWN DESTRUCTION. 

IMODERATION in riding is proper — 

Tends more to improve than detract — 
But riding for speed and adventure 
Is a foolish and ruinous act. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CHARITY 

HUMANITY'S PLEA. 

jp'ULL many profess sweet Charity, 

But few ever learn from the facts 
That substantials are more of a rarity 
Than advices, shoe-laces, and tracts. 



THOUGHT 

SPARKS FROM THE SOUL. 

(PLEAN and bright, good or bad, 
The subject of our meditation 
Is born of kindred feelings, and 
The soul's the fount of inspiration. 

$ 
PROBLEM 

HOW TO MAKE ONE DOLLAR PAY TWO. 

^iFHIS problem's hard to solve in life, 

And is left to womankind ; 
Economy's practiced by the wife, 
While the husband goes it blind. 
8 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OPPORTUNITIES 

WHAT EVERY ONE IS HUNTING. 

(^REAT opportunities come to one, 

Of another they fight shy; 
The trouble is, you haven't a gun 
When the biggest game is nigh. 

$ 
CLEANLINESS 

THE PREREQUISITE OF GODLINESS. 

'ir'O be Godly, one must be clean, — 

In heart, as well as skin ; 
It's not so much the dirt we see 
As what we know's within. 

ILLNESS 

AN APPEAL FOR SYMPATHY. 

^HEN one is really ill, 

Our sympathy flows quick ; 
But it goes against the will 
To humor those half sick. 

9 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INVALIDISM 

OFTEN A RUSE TO ATTRACT ATTENTION. 

''HEN one is too poor to entertain, 
Or too lazy to do his work, — 
Then hear him murmur and complain, 
To hide an evident shirk. 



OBSTINACY 

FIRMNESS IN YOURSELF, PIG-HEADEDNESS IN THE OTHER 
FELLOW. 

(^ MAN'S defense of his own acts 
Often wanders from the facts, 
And leaves him, while not quite a fool, 
An object of much ridicule. 



SYMPATHY 

DRYING YOUR EYES ON THE SAME HANDKERCHIEF. 

'ir'HE c(h)ords, if once securely tied, 

Will pull as well from either side ; 
Their fastenings, though wide apart. 
Are safely anchored in the heart. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IMAGINATION 

KITES FLOWN FROM THE BRAIN. 

^tt'HE " Imps of the Brain," in times of play, 

Fly kites mucli in the ustial way; 
Immoral or selfish, mournful or gay, 
The result is the same — they all break away. 



BLONDE 

ONE THAT MAN CAPTIVATES. 

^iFHE pleasures of life, to a blonde, 
Are found in form and feature ; 
Sentiment always is quick to respond 
In this loving, adorable creature. 

BRUNETTE 

ONE THAT CAPTIVATES MAN. 

i^ BRUNETTE is gifted with caution, 

Which serves as a useful defense; — 
A subject of deepest emotion, — 
Romantic, devoted, intense. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FIDELITY 

THE OUTGROWTH OF CONFIDENCE. 

piDELITY no limit knows, 

Its origin truly defined, — 
Promptly its utmost service does, 
And leaves Distrust behind. 



SCRUPLES 

CAUSED BY A TIGHT-PITTING CONSCIENCE. 

'ir'HE modern conscience is contracting; 

It's been shrunken by degrees. 
Our scruples are far less exacting; — 
They seldom feel the old-time squeeze. 

VERSATILITY 

GENERAL APTITUDE. 

MERSATILITY'S always applauded,— 
It stamps one an "all-around man ;" 
But the man who most often "gets there," 
Persistently follows one plan. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



WITNESS 

ONE USUALLY CONSPICUOUS FOR IGNORANCE. 

MANITY makes ridiculous 

A witness posing for effect ; 
And renders him conspicuous 
For the absence of self-respect. 

EXERCISE 

THE STAFF OF HEALTH. 

i^ LAZY man's health grows feeble, 

And tends toward continuous rest ;- 
But working, when one is able, 
Will keep his health at the best. 

TRADITION 

THE SIGN-BOARDS OF TIME. 

'ir'HE wisdom of Experience 

Is the surest guide to Truth ; 
The sign-boards of Tradition 

Will point the safe way for Youth. 

'3 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HOBBIES 

THE CYCLE OF THOUGHT. 

^tFHERE is a wheel in every brain, 

That its master loves to ride ; 
He falls, but mounts to ride again — 
It's his constant source of pride. 

ISOLATION 

CUT OFF FROM SUPPLIES. 

[ISOLATION, in a worldly sense, 

Means, ** bereft of friends and ties ; " 
But manly independence is. 
Within itself, a golden prize. 



MANNERS 

A MUCH-NEGLECTED ACCOMPLISHMENT. 

[OOD manners and respect for another 
Can only be taught when young ; 
Their absence some think to cover 
By the use of an oily tongue. 

14 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SECRET 

THE THING MOST TROUBLESOME TO HIDE. 

(POUNT a secret much the same 
As a splinter in your nerve ; — 
It will torture and inflame, 
And no honest purpose serve. 



CAPITAL 

ACCUMULATED SURPLUS. 

Ir^UCH like a heap of reeking filth, 

Offensive if in one place long. 
Is hoarded, unused, worshiped wealth,- 
A cause of misery and wrong. 



POET 

A DREAMER. 

ONLIKE the "Rhymester" in his art, 

He follows an ideal part ; — 
The "Rhymester" rides a runaway horse, 
That carries him a different course. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



LABOR 

SERVICES BASED UPON PROFIT. 

pVERYTHING under the sun, they say, 

Is built upon " profits " as its base ; 
Man starves when work can't be made to pay, 
And lives by the sweat of his face, 

FAKIR 

A WEAK IMITATION. 

F in business on the street, 
He is treated with contempt. 
When disguised in social dress 

He gains applause at each attempt. 

STENOGRAPHER 

THE BUSINESS MAN'S VADE MECUM. 

jp"ROM early morn to evening late 

She works on scanty pay; 
But women like it, we are told. 

For it's there " they have their say." 
i6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



VANITY 

POSING FOR CRITICISM. 

||=j|ARMLESS enough, their little fads 

Of show, of pomp, of gaudy plumage ;- 
Admired by empty-headed cads. 
They'd pose forever for the homage. 



PROSPERITY 

SATISFACTION IN THE CONTRIBUTIONS OF LIFE. 

WIJHEN one's wants are well supplied, 
His impudence is then descried, — 
Which shows the world, without a doubt. 
Prosperity has forced it out. 

VIRTUE 

A PRINCIPLE OF HONOR. 

/^ SENSATIONAL Press and sudden wealth 
Have damaged slightly its vaunted health ;- 
While just the same in breadth and length, 
It seems to lack its old-time strength. 

^7 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MODESTY 

A PRACTICE OF HIDING ONE'S PERSONALITY. 

^tPHE virtue of Modesty many assume — 

Egotists hiding- in decency's plume ; 
But a story's told, you understand, 
How an ostrich " hid his head in the sand." 



POPULARITY 

ADMIRATION BASED ON PREJUDICE. 

WIJH'EN others express your particular views, 
You greatly admire them — for a season ; 
But when they differ from you, you abuse, — 
And often without rhyme or reason. 



OVATION 

DEMONSTRATION OF APPROVAL. 

i^ PUBLIC service rendered, 

Is by the public feted ; 
But ovation's often tendered 
For a service over-rated. 
iS 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RESISTANCE 

THE PROMPTINGS OF FEAR. 

W^HOLESOME fear's a safeguard, 

Oft preventing wrong ; 
Dread of consequences 
Makes Resistance strong. 

GOSSIP 

THE WORLD'S INTRODUCTION TO SOCIETY. 

/^N atom of truth, and the foundation's laid, 

For damaging statements, rashly made ; 
But it's not worth while to live in fear ; 
Because, as a rule, you're the last to hear. 

HOSPITALITY 

SHARING PERSONAL COMFORTS. 

JIN compounding Nature's salve, 

A crust's sufficient, if it's all you have ; 
It heals the wound that was raw and bare, 
And keeps a scar from forming there, 

^9 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FRIENDSHIP 

A LOADED WEAPON. 



ONLESS by fire it has been tested, 

The intimacy with which it's vested 
May prove for treason's purpose fitter, — 
Wring the true heart, and make life bitter. 



DECEIT 

THE SHADOW OP HYPOCRISY. 

|r5\ECEIT is born with Hypocrisy, 

And should be called its twin ; 
'Tis used alike to plunder man, 
And to betray him into Sin. 

± 
CAD 

A SOCIAL BLACKGUARD. 

(g^OCIETY tolerates many a " Sham "— 
And approves of numberless " fads ; 
It needs a properly organized plan 
For ridding itself of these "Cads," 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SNOB 

AN ARISTOCRATIC MISFIT. 

IMOTHING'S good enough for him ; 

He questions every act, — 
Forever telling " where he's been," 
And how you ought to act. 



HUMANITY 

A CHILLY CONVOCATION. 

^ir'HE constant friction attending 

The ever-increasing throng, 
Prevents one from depending 
On protection from the strong. 



DISTRUST 

ABANDONMENT OF CONFIDENCE. 

F confidence is wounded, 
Distrust assumes its place - 
Patches up the wounded part. 
And presents another face. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SOMNAMBULISM 

THE PHANTOM OF DEATH. 

/^ BODY without human will, 

Sound asleep, but walking still. 
Proves, Life alone is not sublime, 
Unless controlled by Soul divine. 



TRACTS 

MILD SUGGESTIONS, 

^tFRACTS of religious pretension 

Are thrown at a busy man's head ; 
But to really get his attention 
One needs a "dray-pin" instead. 

APPETITE 

THE STOMACH TICKLING THE PALATE FOR MORE. 

^HIS little Chemist without head 

Is usually by caprices led ; 
Through appetite, it has been said. 
It readily changes "gold" to "lead." 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ARISTOCRACY 

A CORRUPT ASSOCIATION, INHERITING THEIR VICES. 

11=11 EREDITY, it has been said, 

Has woven here from finer thread ; 
But public lives, intrigue, and sin. 
Prove they were bom with thicker skin. 

MONEY 

THE BALL BEARINGS ON THE WHEEL OP LIFE. 

'tt'HE untrammeled action of health 

Is the surest producer of wealth ; 
Persistent saving is the best of plans, — 
Short cuts are risky, and leave empty hands. 



INVESTIGATION 

THE OUTGROWTH OF SECRECY. 

[INVESTIGATION too often is found 

A concession to public clamor ; — 
Made with an ostentatious sound, 
But resulting in much glamor. 

23 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DAINTIES 

THE FRAMEWORK OP INDULGENCE. 

[INDULGENCE, seeking something new, 

Makes up a pleasing picture 
By adding Dainties to the Stew, 
And making a new mixture. 

COMPENSATION 

NATURAL ADJUSTMENTS. 

/QNE-HALF the world's born saddled, 

The other, booted and spurred ; 
There's compensation due you. 
No matter how it occurred. 



FASHION 

THE WEAKNESS OP IMITATION. 

'tt'O be like others is their prayer, 

In walk, in talk, and dress ; 
They act their part in perfect form, — 
Which true, which false ; — you're left to guess. 
24 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INTELLECT 

CONCENTRATED VITAL FORCE. 

JI^EPENDING solely for its worth, 

On surroundings and good health, 
When wisely nursed and duly trained, 
It is a mine of greatest wealth. 



A MILLINER 

THE REPOSITORY OP MAN'S SAVINGS. 

/^ HANDFUL of straw, a bit of cheap lace — 

A couple of feathers, a rose in right place — 
Are worth a small fortune, when with a sweet face. 



SELFISHNESS 

PERSONALITY UNCONTROLLED. 

(^ELFISHNESS is the source of Sin,— 

Both aggressive and acute ; 
It smothers all the good within. 
It makes of man a brute. 

23 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CHARLATAN 

A PRETENDER. 

f^ CHARLATAN, unlike a man, 

Challenges with a shout ; 
He makes good use of time and tide, 
Knowing he'll be found out. 



HUMILITY 

ACKNOWLEDGING SUPERIOR FORCE. 

HUMILITY'S not natural, 

But comes of sore defeat ; 
It's a becoming cloak to wear, 
When one can not compete. 

% 

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE 

AN UNFORTUNATE COMBINATION OF TWO OPPOSING 
CONDITIONS. 

(CHRISTIANITY, pure and simple, 

Will govern the human mind ; 
But with it the Science of Healing 
No common ground can find. 
26 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SUPERSTITION 

A WEAKNESS OP INTELLECT. 

jr^ON'T whistle against the wind, my dear — 

Nor ride in a coach that's green ; 
Don't get out of bed with the left foot first, 
And remember the number Thirteen. 

AMBITION 

THE HOPE OP SUCCESS. 

/^ FIXED, determined intention 

To reach the end, and success, 
Keeps hope alive, with endeavor, — 
Defeat it will never confess. 

$ 
BUSINESS 

CHASING THE ALMIGHTY DOLLAR. 

'tF'HE surging crowd, to win the race. 
Spares neither brain nor muscle ; 
The Dollar keeps a lively pace, — 
To get it, one must hustle. 
27 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TROUBLE 

THE RESTRAINT OF PLEASURE. 

PLEASURE is a fickle god, 

And feeds itself within ; 
Trouble's a restraining rod, 
Which keeps it out of Sin. 

$ 
SANITARIUM 

THE KINGDOM OP THE SPECIALIST. 

y^DVERTISED as a Health Resort, 
With every modern appliance — 
They cut, slash, diet, and extort, 
All under the cloak of Science. 



ABSENCE 

AN ELEMENT THAT SOFTENS. 

[RESIDE our early childhood's thought, 

A world's appeal prevails for naught ; 
Protected in the arms we sought, 
Which all our love and pleasure brought. 
28 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



AFFECTION 

AN ATTRIBUTE OP LOVE. 

/REFECTION is a tie that binds 
Firmer than cord and chain ; 
Authority, with force combined, 
Is by Love undone again. 



CORRESPONDENCE 

A WEAKNESS OF NECESSITY. 

(CONVERSATION is much safer. 
In satisfaction that it gives — 
Once we put our thoughts on paper. 
What is written always lives. 



APPROBATION 

A PLEASING CURTAIN TO HUMAN ACTS. 

/^S Actors, oft we are compelled 

To deal in stuff and nonsense : — 
But when by merit one's excelled. 
Approval comes through Conscience. 

2g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



LIFE INSURANCE 

BETTING AGAINST ODDS. 

[INSURANCE is a strange device, 
Where both sides hope to gain ; 
Man shields his family for a price, 
Then dies to beat the game. 

SLEEP 

NATURE'S BLOTTER. 

^tFO check the fire that burns too bright, 

And vital forces taking flight, 
This soft and soothing blotter's made, 
And over all is gently laid. 

OBSEaUIES 

THE LULLABY OP DEATH. 

IpjlUSIC, to oil the creaking hinge, — 

A display to fit his worth ; 
One last appeal to save his soul, 
Then he's chucked away in earth. 
30 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RECKLESSNESS 

CROWDING DESIRES BEYOND THE LIMIT OP PRUDENCE. 

jjF alone he takes his flights, 

No one cares much where he lights ; 
Trouble is, he makes a dash, 
And covers others with the splash. 

ENVY 

WANT OF SELF-CONFIDENCE. 

O matter what your neighbor has, 
It comes within your power 
To do as well in similar paths, 
If you'll improve the hour. 

HATE 

A CRIMINAL PROPENSITY. 

/f^NLY in degree, it's true, 

Is it difficult to resist 
The opportunity, when it comes, 
To give his nose a twist. 

31 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COaUETRY 

THE PYROTECHNICS OF MISCHIEF. 

IpANNED by fancies running wild, 

There's often quite a fire ; 
But only harmful in results 
When kindled by desire. 

MUSIC 

THE VIBRATIONS OF THE SOUL. 

If^USIC, falling on the ear, 

Relaxes tension, quiets fear ; 
It blends all nature by its mighty power, 
And soothes the sorrows of the dying hour. 

KLEPTOMANIA 

PRINCIPALLY A POLITICAL DISEASE. 

'ir'HE disposition to make your own 

Whatever is safely concealed, 
Is a vice that has surely and steadily grown. 
And with politics has congealed. 
32 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REPUDIATION 

THE OUTGROWTH OF SELFISHNESS. 

^ELFISHNESS counsels repudiation, 

Otherwise 'twould quickly fall ; 
It's simply a means of ruination 
To drive others to the wall. 

* 

WINE 

IMMORALITY'S CIRCULATING MEDIUM. 

i^ LITTLE is said to do no harm, 

But who can draw the line ? 
It blunts one's sensibilities : 
That's apt to lead to crime. 

SCIENCE 

THE TRIUMPH OF KNOWLEDGE. 

/^PPLIED, it brings to man a rest; 

To labor shorter hours ; 
To human life a longer lease ; 
To knowledge greater powers. 

33 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TEACHER 

THE PROMOTER OF WISDOM. 

p?RECISELY when the seed takes root 

Is yet a secret, quite unknown ; 
The teacher casts it in the soil, 
And nurses till it's fully grown. 



THE COOK 

THE PRINCIPAL CAUSE OF DOMESTIC UNHAPPINESS. 

i^T first, a chef of high degree — 

An artist in chops and fricassee ; 
Then secret vices show their head, 
And desire to live is checked by dread. 

THE HOUSEKEEPER 

THE REGULATOR OF MAN'S STABILITY. 

i^N executive woman, always alert. 

Who scans the linen, from sheet to shirt. 
Prepares good meals, makes no excuses, 
Proves one dollar equal to two in its uses. 

34 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



THE BREAD-WINNER 

THE KEY WHICH UNLOCKS THE STOREHOUSE OF LIFE. 

MUSTLED ! tumbled ! kicked around ! 

Chasing fortunes rarely found — 
Finally, when his dollar's stored, 
It brings him only *'bed and board." 

FINANCES 

HANDLING MONEY. 

[pflANDLING money is a business 

Without temptation, if well trained ; 
It's only those without experience 
Whose honesty is sorely strained. 



CANDIDATE 

A PROMISING SUBJECT. 

Ip^E'LL promise anything you ask — 
His candidacy bears the brunt ; 
So quickly he can turn about 
That the seat of his pants is front. 

3S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A MILLIONAIRE 

NAME GIVEN TO ONE OF UNCERTAIN WEALTH. 

f^ DOLLAR, if in other hands, 

Seems greater than the one you own, 
And keeps on growing, if, perchance. 
The one you had's already flown. 



YOUTH 

THE PLANTING SEASON OF LIFE. 

(SHOWING broadcast, regardless of soil, 

A work of pleasure rather than toil ; 
The harvest he reaps soon opens his eyes ; 
The follies of youth he learns to despise. 

$ 
AGE 

A CONDITION REPRESENTED BY ONE'S FEELINGS. 

jIF the young only knew, and the old only could. 

What a wonderful world this would be — 
The compensation that old age brings 
Makes a radical change in the state of things. 

3(> 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A WIDOWER 

ONE SEEKING FEMININE SYMPATHY. 

(SKILLED in the secret ways of life, 

Filled with thoughts of another wife, 
He assumes an innocent, helpless air 
In craving attention from women fair. 



PASSION 

UNRESTRICTED DESIRE. 

[j^ESIRE unbridled feeds itself, 

And waxes ever strong within ; 
To be controlled it must be starved, 
Till reason's victories begin. 



REPENTANCE 

PUNISHMENT THROUGH FEAR. 

/f^NE'S chief concern is selfish fear 
Of things that may befall him ; 
He's noisy, selfish, obdurate, 
Till terror's voices call him. 
37 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FOOD 

THE FUEL OP HUMAN MACHINERY. 

/^NIMAL, vegetable, liquid, perhaps — 

It's after all largely suggestive ; 
More or less, be it rich or plain, — 
It's all alike, if digestive. 

DEGENERACY 

MORAL DECAY. 

IJT'S neglect of a proper moral tone 

That causes Degeneracy, alone ; 
In the rush for things material 
There's no time left for things ethereal. 



RUDENESS 

THE CROWDING OF ANIMAL INSTINCTS. 

<S^OME people seem to take delight 

In acts that are offensive ; 
They've never learned their lesson right — 
Politeness is never expensive. 
38 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INTEREST 

THE OCTOPUS THAT NEVER RESTS. 

[INTEREST never ceases, 

Even after death ; 
Never thaws, but freezes 
Even one's vital breath. 



COLLECTOR 

A FISCAL AND OBJECTIONABLE AGENT. 

(COLLECTORS are evidence of debt, 

Men dislike their faces ; 
Their calls imply a constant threat, 
And leave suggestive traces. 

NECESSITIES 

POSITIVE REQUIREMENTS. 

/f^NE'S necessities are not so pressing. 

If the door on luxury is shut — 
Man can live and have many a blessing, 
With only a frying-pan and a hut. 

39 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROMISE 

A TEMPTATION TO LIE. 

CONDITIONS preceding, carefully weighed, 

If a good solid basis is found, 
The value, then, of the promise made 
Is " sixteen ounces " a pound. 

EXCUSES 

POLITE FALSEHOODS. 

[INDIFFERENCE causes much delay. 

Insincerity deals in excuses — 
Confidence loses its part in the play, 
While Truth suffers all the abuses. 

$ 
SALARY 

A LIMITED VALUATION. 

■tPHE salary you receive 

Is insufficient, we know ; 
Yet do we also perceive 

That you can not let it go. ' 
40 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SHAME 

A LOST VIRTUE. 



^^"tTHEIR cheeks," 'tis said, 

"Would burn with shame." 
But they're all dead 
And can't explain. 



MOCKERY 

AN EXPRESSION OP CONTEMPT. 

S CRUELTY to mock defect, 

Even if artificial — 
If Nature made you perfect, 
You should not be judicial. 



CHRISTMAS 

THE MOST PERPLEXING DAY IN THE CALENDAR. 

^HRISTMAS is to memory dear. 

And pocket-book as well — 
How to please and how to pay 
Are difficult to tell. 

4J^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DOWRY 

AN UNCERTIFIED CHECK OF APPROVAL. 

/^ DOWRY is commonly known 

As a substantial gift in starting ; 
But a hearty approval of one's choice 
Is the finest gift in parting, 

FADS 

SPECIAL FASHIONS. 

(g^OCIETY'S often stupid, 

And requires a little change ; 
So anything's accepted 
That is both new and strange. 

WILD OATS 

ALL SORTS OF YOUTHFUL INDISCRETIONS. 

'tF'URNED loose, he takes a run, 

And revels in pleasure's cup — 
There's no great damage done 
Unless he keeps it up. 
42 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



JUDGE 

AN UNJUST DISTRIBUTER OF JUSTICE. 

^ir'O justify a little law, 

He preaches a dry sermon — 
Hiding human frailty in 
The dignity of ermine. 

JURY 

AN UNSYMPATHETIC MEDLEY PLAYED BY LAWYERS. 

II N dealing with intricate questions 

That no one can understand, 
The lawyers furnish the wind, 
To the verdict of the band, 

state's ATTORNEY 

A FAT OFFICE. 

II F weak in his profession. 

He's just the man to suit — 
Controlled by politicians, 
Who play him like a flute. 
4S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FAITH 

SIMPLICITY IN BELIEF. 

Ip'AITH makes life a pleasure, 

Gives us something to expect ; 
By its depth we measure, 
The worth of our self-respect. 



HOPE 

EXPECTANCY OP BELIEF. 

[pXPECTANCY hides all sorrows, 
Gives the worn soul a chance ; 
The glimmer of the things beyond 
Turns thought into romance. 

* 

ASSURANCE 

OVERCONFIDENCE IN ONESELF. 

y^SSURANCE is deceptive, 

Sometimes known as " Gall ; " 
Like Pride, a bit reflective. 
It precedes an ugly fall. 

44 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DRESS 

A FOOL'S ESTIMATE OP MERIT. 

|P\RESS no more makes the man, 

Than others of its ilk; 
A thief may wear fine clothes, 
An " outcast " dress in silk. 

± 
TIME 

THE REGULATOR OF THE UNIVERSE. 

'ir'IME never waits for any man, 

Man waits for time, in cloud and shine,- 
He tries to beat it if he can, 
But is forced to toe the line. 

$ 

EDUCATION 

THE BASIS OF CIVILIZATION. 

^tPHE instinct's born, and hard to throttle ; 

Desire with reason grows apace ; 
Like pouring water in a bottle, 
Absorption's limit is the space. 

4S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OBESITY 

NATURE'S PADDING. 

II F healthy, it's always protective, 

Improving the general appearance ; 
It's only when too collective, 
That it calls for interference. 



LOTTERY 

THE TEMPLE OP CHANCE. 

y^LL mankind are prone to guess, 

And take wild chances, more or less ; 
Wisdom's reproof is strong and clear. 
But Chance's votaries seldom hear. 

ADVICE 

THE FREEST OP ALL GIFTS. 

||T can always be had for the asking, 

With a dash of conceit to flavor ; 
Unless your adviser is masking. 
He's probably done you a favor. 
4b 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ANTIPATHY 

GOOSE FLESH. 



^E saunter down the pathway, 
With pleasant thoughts withal, 
Till we meet some horrid object, — 
Then the skin begins to crawl. 

CONCENTRATION 

MOULDING THOUGHT. 

"iPHOUGHT, like powder, scatters wide ; 

Its action is objective — 
Only when in line applied 

Does its force become effective. 

DISAPPOINTMENT 

FAILURE TO REALIZE. 

II F man could always have his wish. 

The world would seem serene ; 
It's the little he wants, and can not get. 
That turns his joy to envy green. 

47 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PRIDE 

THE UNDERLYING CAUSE OP FAILURE. 

i^N instinct born of desire to excel, 

To fill with credit one's place ; 
But unless attention is paid to the props, 
One's apt to fall on his face. 

CLOWN 

ONE WHO DELIGHTS IN ABSURDITIES. 

"iFHEY differ only in degree, 

From circus to society ; 
They're always present, and, as a rule, 
Degrade themselves to act the Fool. 

SITUATION 

EXISTING PACTS. 

IpXISTING facts are of easy calculation, 
These understood, show the situation ;r 
Often in a way to wound one's vanity, 
And make him break out into profanity. 




CLOWN. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SHORTAGE 

THE RESULT OF HIGH LIVING. 

^ DESIRE to keep up appearance, 
Controls more or less, withal — 
Necessities need no forbearance, 
The luxuries cause the fall. 

CONTINGENT 

THE BARNACLES OF SUCCESS. 

NE who has been successful. 
Is ever regarded as skilled; 
Contingents will hang around him, — 
His chairs are always kept filled. 

* 
AN OBITUARY 

ONE'S PAST RECORD WITH THE "ALIAS'S" LEFT OUT. 

IJT'S astonishing to hear, 
The position and place 
To which the horse " is entitled " 
When he's out of the race. 

49 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



WIT 

THE INCANDESCENCE OF HUMOR. 

II TS brilliancy proclaims its worth, 

And, turning shadows into mirth, 
It drives us from the beaten path. 
To rest, and have a hearty laugh. 

$ 
POVERTY 

AN INEXCUSABLE FAULT SEVERELY CRITICISED. 

/^S well wear a red patch 

On the seat of your pants 
As to let the world know 
Your wants in advance ; 
The troubles of life will double up quick. 
As everyone stops and gives you a kick. 



AVARICE 

A CRAZE FOR ACQUIRING. 

/^BSORBING entirely one's better self, 

Greed for getting all that one can. 
Acquisitiveness is not intellect — 
A "chipmunk" has more than a man. 
50 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PARSIMONY 

THE VICE OF OLD AGE. 

IpjIE weighs and measures all nature, 

And pinches, to save the toll ; 
When called to final accounting, 
It's found he's starved his soul. 

ECONOMY 

PRACTICING SELF-DENIAL. 

NE meets a disagreeable fact, 
With great reluctance in every act ; 
Compelled by fortune to devise. 
While even too poor to economize. 

ROUE 

THE " MEPHISTOPHELES " OF SOCIETY. 

RIFTED with a form divine, 

And powers of great persuasion. 
This thing without a heart or soul, 
'Gainst holy virtue leads invasion. 
3^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



WOMAN 

A QUEEN OR A SLAVE. 



TIN general, women are lovely, 

Handsome, bright, witty, and keen ; 
If man would more fully trust her. 
She'd be more a companion than queen. 



CHILDREN 

IRRESPONSIBLE RESPONSIBILITIES. 

/J^F affection a reflection. 

Often subject to correction ; 
If not held in close subjection, 
Apt to go in wrong direction. 



DEMAGOGUE 

THE PRODUCT OF SUPERFICIAL EDUCATION. 

/^ LITTLE learning with a twisted brain, 

In arguments with the masses, 
Can make the wildest theories plain, 
And furnish thought for "Asses." 

S2 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROCRASTINATION 

THE SARCOPHAGUS OF BLASTED HOPES. 

/^LWAYS intending, never performing, 

For a time more convenient waiting ; 
Rich opportunities throng in his path, 
But he's always procrastinating. 

INTEMPERANCE 

THE OVERFLOW OF INDECISION. 

If^AN'S strength is in obedience 

To Nature's laws and wholesome use 
It's weakness inflamed by craving. 
That searches desire for excuse. 



BALDNESS 

THE POLISH OF MATURITY. 

>^N evidence of moral worth. 
This absence of the hair ; 
Tho' some assert, in terms of mirth. 
It's a sign ''There's nothing there." 

33 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IMMORALITY 

DEBASING PROPENSITIES. 



(^MOOTH, broad, the road to hell is made, 

And builded on a downward grade ; 
The tendency is, with all mankind, 
To travel a road that's easy to find. 



EXTRAVAGANCE 

WASTING VALUABLE MATERIAL. 

'tt'H ROUGH chance, one often has the power, 

And makes of life a rocket ; 
It dazzles blindly for the hour. 
Then drops, for all to mock it. 



-fc JNFIDEL 

ONE WHO IMAGINES HIMSELF GREATER THAN HIS 
CREATOR. 

Jl^IS wisdom spurns a living God, 
Or hope in future existence ; 
But his life's an aimless, cheerless one, 
And filled with inconsistence. 
54 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FLOWERS 

HEAVEN'S MISSIONARIES. 

IJN sickness, sorrow, busy life. 

Flowers enact a soothing part,- 
Open the secret pathway to 
The sanctuary of the heart. 

CHRISTIANITY 

THE SOUL'S THERMOMETER. 

f^ REGISTER in every face, 

Indicative of its acts ; 
No artificial blandishment 
Conceals the inward facts. 



GROOM 

ONE WHO SURRENDERS FREEDOM WHILE RESERVING 
MASTERY. 

IS is a duty just begun, 
A subject for thoughts not rash ; 
For, together with all its pleasures, 
Comes an active demand for cash. 

55 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



BRIDE 

ONE WHO DEFIES FATE WITH THE WEAPONS OP LOVE. 

OTRAPPED in thoughts of her future life, 

Bound by the ties of love, 
She bids defiance to all the world, 
And trusts in the God above. 

* 
FLATTERY 

TICKLING ONE'S PRIDE. 

IP'ROM early youth to ripe old age, 

'Tis sweet to be called good ; 
Though flattery is a bit untrue. 
It's never quite tabooed. 

WEDDING 

CUPID FACING HIS ACCUSERS, 

<S^IDE by side, in all their state, 

A chance is given those who wait, 
To pierce both lovers with evil darts, 
Forbid the bans, and break two hearts. 
J6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SARCASM 

WHETTING THE CUTTING EDGE OF TRUTH. 

'ir'RUTH, when used with blunted point, 

Oft tears the human heart ; 
But when its edge is keenly ground 
It pierces like a dart. 

A WIDOW 

AN EDUCATED OBJECT OF COMPASSION. 

Ip'ILLED with knowledge beyond her years, 

She spends her time twixt smiles and tears ; 
Swayed by emotions beyond control, 
She can't be happy to save her soul. 

PHILOSOPHY 

THE REASONING OF SOUND JUDGMENT. 

W^HEN based upon wide experience 
And a close observation of facts, 
It rests a man on his journey. 
And justifies some of his acts. 

S7 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HARD TIMES 

COLD FACTS, AS YOU FIND THEM. 

HqjARD times come from over-production 

And too much legislation ; 
But they're made much worse, in every case, 
By cries and lamentation. 



POLICY 

WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE DONE. 

IP VERY man has a policy, — 

Ordinarily to get all he can ; 
If a mistake be made in the reckoning, 
He's only to change his plan. 



DOLLAR 

THE MODERN GOD. 

/f^NLY a bit of minted metal. 

Good for what it'll buy; 
But it's just about as sensitive 
As the ball of the human eye. 
5S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RESPECTABILITY 

THE STANDARD OF GOOD CITIZENSHIP. 

I^ESPECT ABILITY'S the badge 
Which makes the world akin ; 
We wear it as an outward sign 
Of what should be within. 



TRUTH 

A FAMILY SECRET. 

^iFRUTH, the most troublesome secret known, 

Most difficult to conceal ; — 
In spite of efforts to disown, 
Grim facts it does reveal. 



RIDICULE 

SOCIETY'S WEAPON. 

^SOCIETY, pointing the finger of scorn, 

Is a dreadful torture, of course ; 
But ridicule's often a two-edged sword, 
And society feels its force. 
S9 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



AN AUTHOR 

AN ORIGINAL PROMOTER. 

TOH ETHER of things material, 

Or only of those ethereal ; 
Be his ambition small or great, 
His power is given to create. 



FAME 

AN ESTIMATE FURNISHED BY THE PUBLIC PRESS. 

II F worth alone were estimated, 

Fewer people would be overrated; 
More value found, and less complaint 
Of sins concealed by a coat of paint. 

A LAWYER 

A NECESSARY PARASITE IN NATURE'S GARDEN. 

I^ETAINED, he makes a passing show 
Of wisdom : All the facts you know 
Puff up your heart with secret pride, 
Till you hear the lawyer on the other side. 
60 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONSIDERATION 

THE NET RESULTS OF WHAT YOU RECEIVE. 

IJN the vast majority of cases, 

Consideration's '' Bed and Board ; " 
Culture, earning power increases, — 
Adds current surplus to your hoard. 

HOMELINESS 

USUALLY INDICATIVE OP QUICK INTELLECT. 

^OMAN'S rich with many a gift, 
And conceited, if you please ; 
But if of beauty she's bereft. 
Men won't carry her valise. 

EMPLOYE 

AN ASSISTANT. 

(S^ERVANT'S a name resented, 

"Assistant " is not much better ; 
The latter leaves one more contented, 
As it's more inclined to flatter. 
6z 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



THE INVENTOR 

A PRODUCT OF NECESSITY AND CIVILIZATION. 

(S^TRANGE how gifts that Nature lends,- 

So often blindly cast aside, — 
Are saved by careful, plodding minds, 
And in inventions well applied ! 

AN AUTOGRAPH 

DRAWING YOUR OWN LIKENESS. 

'ir'HE modest, unassuming fist, 

With many a little quirl and twist. 
Its master's picture leaves behind, 
A perfect likeness, of its kind. 



FUN 

THE PYROTECHNICS OF GOOD NATURE. 

/^ RECREATION, not intense, 

A joke at someone else's expense ; 
Whate'er it be, it plays its part 
In washing windows of the heart. 
62 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ETiaUETTE 

RULES GOVERNING SOCIETY, 

■tFROUBLE is, society's rules 

Are governed by a pack of fools, 
Who constantly change to suit the fads, 
And etiquette's left to snobs and cads. 

COMMISSIONS 

THE PRINCIPAL SOURCE OP LIVELIHOOD. 

i^STONISHING how men difEer 

In the estimate of their worth ; 
Commissions are generally stiffer 
With men large around the girth. 



EaUANIMITY 

AN EVENLY ADJUSTED BALANCE. 

^HEN mental and .physical forces 
Move like horses evenly bitted. 
It's just like finding a dollar that's good 
Among scores which are counterfeited. 

63 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROSPECTS 

THE SHADOW OF IMAGINATION. 

p^ROSPECTS are so deceptive, 

They keep one always guessing ; 
But results are so defective ; 

Rarely do they prove a blessing. 

BEGGAR 

A CREATURE OP INDOLENCE. 

1^ BEGGAR'S not always on the street, — 

He's found in circles where we live; 
On every hand one hears his bleat, 

Always the same, " Oh give ! Oh give ! " 



BACHELOR-MAID 

A MATRIMONIAL CRITIC. 

/^LTHOUGH her age is never known, 

It's understood she's fully grown , 
There is no subject beyond her ken, 
From raising children to managing men. 
64 




BEGGAR. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RICHES 



WEALTH SUFFICIENT TO EXCITE THE ENVY OF YOUR 
NEIGHBOR. 

>^N artificial appetite exists 

For luxuries, until one insists 
They are necessities ; then Nature's laws 
Of compensation show their force, 
And grant contentment a divorce. 

IRREPRESSIBILITY 

DEFYING RESTRICTION. 

OT always intended as defiance, 
Oft an expression of self-reliance ; 
Born of a nervous force within 
Which leads to success as oft as to sin. 

RELIGION 

A COAT OF PAINT HIDING A MULTITUDE OP SINS. 

[REFRESHING, when with reason trimmed, — 

Repellant, when old spots undimmed 
Show through the outer coating light ; 
One turns away from such a sight. 
6S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



AWKWARDNESS 

LACK OF ADAPTATION. 

/^WKWARDNESS is not a crime 

If it does occasion mirth ; 
It's often born of modesty, 
And symbolizes worth. 

SUSPICION 

DISTORTED CRITICISM. 

S CRITICISM, kindly made, 

Makes fault an easy burden ; 
But if suspicion's once arrayed, 
Antagonism's certain. 



AN ACTOR 

ONE WHO PAINTS PICTURES ON THE CANVAS OF 
IMAGINATION. 

/?^NE laughs or weeps, as fancy flies ; 
But, touched alone by deeper ties. 
He plays the actor's part in life, 
To end it all in bitter strife. 
66 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A TOOTHACHE 

A SUGGESTION OP HELL. 

^HEN the devil feels with red-hot claws, 
Around your tired and aching jaws, 
You'll think your sins have found you out. 
And justice is being brought about. 

ENTHUSIASM 

THE OVERFLOW OF ADMIRATION. 

HEN admiration finds its limit, 
Excitement then becomes courageous ; 
The vista seems to have more in it, — 
Enthusiasm grows contagious. 

LECTURE 

A DECLARATION OP ONE'S FITNESS. 

Ij^NOWLEDGE, when well grounded. 

Often aspires to teach ; 
The principle's well founded 
If the profit's within reach. 
67 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PUGNACIOUS 

DISPOSED TO COMBAT. 



i^ NOISY fellow, full of aggression, — 

What he needs is prompt suppression 
Always spoiling for a fight, 
He'd probably run from one in sight. 



LACONISM 

THE PHILOSOPHY OP WIT. 

T is a gift with some — 
Ready, superficial wit ; 
It ceases to be fun 
When it makes a center hit. 

DAWN 

A MOST INCONVENIENT HOUR. 

p^OETS have sung of the Dawn, 

And Nature's awakening power ; 
But it's doubtful if a single one 
Was ever up at that hour. 
6c? 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CLAIRVOYANCE 

AUTO-HYPNOTISM. 



^HO worships at the shrine of Chance, 
Believes implicitly in "trance" — 
Which, like a mirror, does reveal 
The thoughts one struggles to conceal. 



INSPIRATION 

THE QUICKENING OP THE SOUL. 

IpNGULFED in a flood of cares, 

Activity self-assertive, 
'Tis inspiration prepares 
A warning most alertive. 

COMMERCE 

AN EXCHANGE OP COMMODITIES. 

/f^NE-HALF of the world's busy transporting. 
The other, in feeding the whole, we're told ; 
Exchange is the basis of value, — 
Not silver, nor copper, nor gold. 
6g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A PHYSICIAN 

A LICENSED GUESSER OF UNCERTAINTIES. 

I^OCKED in the cradle of ancient lore, 

He's taught to physic you, more and more. 
Till Nature calls a halt at the grave. 
And takes back the life he couldn't save. 



A SURGEON 

A LICENSED MUTILATOR. 

ONLIKE his brother, in the art 

To cure, the surgeon kills the part. 

* 

DISEASE 

AN INTERPRETATION OF NATURE'S LANGUAGE. 

f^ DOCTOR, or "scientist," if you please, 
Lays too much stress upon " disease ; " 
He'd have more fame, perhaps more wealth. 
If he'd look alone for the lack of health. 
70 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CORPORATION 

CONCENTRATING INTERESTS UNDER ONE HEAD. 

^ITH special laws provided, 

They've the greatest pliability ; 
Everything is then divided 
Without personal liability. 



DANCING 

AN INVIGORATING MUSICAL CADENCE. 

jMIMBLE feet and graceful pose 

To withered cheeks restore the rose ; 
It stirs the blood in every part, 
And warms the "cockles" of the heart. 



AUTHENTICATION 

VERIFICATION OF KNOWLEDGE. 

ONLESS authentication's established, 

Knowledge is never completed ; 
Careless statements, wherever made. 
Should never be repeated, 

71 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PARLOR 

RESPECTABILITY'S DISPLAY ROOM. 

"tPHE parlor's the dividing line 

Twixt intelligence and vagrance ; 
Old and young meet at this shrine, 
To enjoy its pleasant fragrance. 

MUTINY 

DEFYING AUTHORITY. 

i^UTHORITY defied is dangerous, 

It's better to do what's right ; 
Or you may be treated as sailors, 
And hung overboard all night. 

CERTAINTY 

DEATH AND TAXES. 

IJT'S the disagreeable, after all. 
Of which one can be certain, 
Agreeable things, we most desire. 
Are hidden behind life's curtain, 
72 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DEVOTION 

ATTACHMENT PROTECTING LOVE. 

|p\EVOTION acts as guide 

In leading love, that's blind ; 
Its tender care is well applied, 
To shun the snares of all mankind. 

* 
HEALTH 

THE SAFEST INVESTMENT. 

p>ROVIDING its own security, 

It pays the surest return ; 
Its forces enable the owner 
To increase his power to earn. 

SECOND MARRIAGE 

ONE OF CONVENIENCE. 

II S built on different lines, 

With experience as guide ; 
Both sides are less exacting 
As they travel side by side. 

73 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



POETRY 

THE EMBODIMENT OF IDEALISM. 

^HILE prose is more effective 
In the common run of things ; 
The idealism of poetry 
To one's better nature clings, 

JUNIOR 

AN ENLARGED EDITION OF SENIOR. 

Ip^ODERN ways and modern teaching 

Drive the two oft far apart ; 
But affection's always reaching 
For the chords that hold the heart. 

HARMONY 

EVERYTHING IN UNISON. 

^HIS world would be perfection 
With harmony in full sway ; 
But man is so discordant, 

Nature can not have her way. 

74 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



BLOOD 

THE INHERITANCE FROM OUR PROGENITOR. 

IJT'S only when in middle life 

We really get acquainted 
With the value of inheritance, 
And know how much is tainted. 

± 
ORATORY 

THE ART OP WORD PAINTING. 

/^N orator is an artist, as well, 
According to his selection ; 
He can paint life either as a hell 
Or show it as perfection. 

$ 
BOOKWORM 

A LITERARY OCTOPUS. 

Tp|!E lives on what is given him, 

A beggar of other men's brains ; 
His own's constructed like a sponge, 
And everything retains. 

7S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DREAMS 

THE SOUL EXERCISING. 

J/^AN'S carnal need takes up his time, 

And all his thoughts supplants ; 
He gathers strength in sleep sublime, — 
His soul improves the chance, 

SANTA GLAUS 

A CHARMING DECEIT. 

[INTENDED as a religious rite, 

Upheld by both Church and State ; 
The creature of a single night, 
He fulfills expectation great. 



MANICURE 

THE LAZY WOMAN'S MAID. 

y^N idle woman's a dangerous one, 

If aroused by sufficient cause ; 
The practice, not ornamental alone. 
Is intended to sharpen her claws. 
76 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROTECTION 

THE HOME INFLUENCE. 

NE blest with loving environment 
Is not inclined to stray ; 
It's the absence of such influence 
That makes him go astray. 



SUBTERFUGE 

THE EXCUSE OF WRONGDOING. 

RONG is much intensified 
When a hiding-place is found ; 
The most destructive animals 
Are those found underground. 

GAMBLING 

THE MOVING INSTINCT OF MANKIND. 

(^AMBLING'S not alone with cards,— 

That's more of a diversion ; 

The propensity controls the age, 

And is effective in conversion. 

77 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ESSAY 

A LITERARY STEW. 

fS[ STEW'S composed of pieces, 

Boiled to suit the taste ; 
An essay is a thesis, 
Composed of prunes and paste. 

EMERGENCY 

WHEN YOU MOST REQUIRE WISDOM. 

^HEN one stands most in dread, 
He's more apt to lose his head ; 
While not advising him to scoff. 
He ought to let the ''froth blow off." 

SENSITIVENESS 

ONE TUNED IN TOO HIGH A KEY. 

p?ITCHED by Nature in a higher key, 

Through others' glasses they can not see ; 
An unfortunate combination this. 
They see things always going amiss. 
78 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



KINKS 

THE ECCENTRICITIES OF GENIUS. 

^tPHE force of genius is oft arrayed, 

Through visionary statements made ; 
The world looks on, inclined to smile, — 
They're found deceptive, once in a while. 

* 
THEOSOPHY 

A RELIGIOUS DOCTRINE. 

[j^EINCARNATION'S now their fad, 

Really the doctrine is not half bad ; 
To be bom again would be a boon. 
As most of us were born too soon. 



BEAU 

A SUGGESTIVE, BUT TRANSIENT, COMPANION. 

f^ MAN to be a perfect beau 

Should not be too attentive 
Or the pleasure others will forego, — 
His actions prove preventive. 

79 



SjEnse and satire. 



A MOTHER 

THE HAVEN OP REST FROM THE CARES OP LIFE 

j|7?ROUD of a conscious duty done, 

Wrapped in the soul of a living one, 
Hers is honor beyond compare. 
Though other joys of life are rare. 



± 



A DEBUTANTE 

THE HIGHEST PRODUCT OF THE SOCIAL WORLD. 

I^IPE for a bout in the social whirl, 

This loving, trusting, sweet young girl, 
Filled with all the savants teach — 
And some things better out of reach— 
She plunges deep, and then, alas ! 
A few short seasons come and pass, 
And she's a lady. 



So 




DEBUTANTE, 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OPTIMIST 

ONE DECEIVED BY THE GLAMOUR OP CONCEIT. 

(^ONCEIT paints a rosy picture, 
That seems to be quite true ; 
With common sense a fixture, 
One might take another view. 

* 
PESSIMIST 

THE VICTIM OF HIS OWN MELANCHOLY. 

y^ DISAPPOINTING atmosphere. 

Creating constant gloom ; 
Everything appearing here, 
Is suggestive of the tomb. 



CAUTION 

THE SALVATION OP A POOL. 

'ir'HE world dislikes display, 

And is apt to throw a brick ; 
Which causes much dismay. 
Unless caution dodges quick. 
8i 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EXPLANATION 

HOW IT OCCURRED. 

[pXPLANATION doesn't always explain 

Just how the thing occurred ; 
For earnest statements oft contain 
Some things that seem absurd. 

DENUNCIATION 

DECLARING DISAPPROVAL. 

HEN disapproval speaks, 
It's apt to be expressive ; 
But rarely gives sufficient ground 
For one to be aggressive. 

BASEBALL 

HIGHER ATHLETIC SKILL. 

^ITH nine good men, 
All picked and true ; 
In highest athletics. 
You have the best view. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FOOTBALL 

EXHIBITION OF PUGILISTIC SKILL. 

/^ TEAM selected for length of hair, 

Indicative of the animal there ; 
They clinch and crowd with brutal skill ; 
Their chief delight's to butt and spill. 

GOLF 

A SOCIETY GAME. 

^HAT they need is exercise ; 

They'll take it offered with a prize, 
And walk for miles to register "kicks," 
But hire a man to carry the sticks. 

TENNIS 

A SENTIMENTAL GAME. 

(g^ENTIMENT'S here allowed full sway, 

Soft balls are used, and "love's" the play; 
Especially adapted for the young, 
Limbers the muscles, and loosens the tongue. 
^3 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ROWING 

A MANLY EXERCISE. 



/^ CURE for troubles tinder the vest ; 

Develops the arms, expands the chest, 
Lightens the brain, bronzes the skin. 
Adds to life, if you don't fall in. 



& 



A SPECIALIST 

ONE WHO DEVELOPS PART OF HIS BRAIN AT THE 
EXPENSE OF THE OTHER. 

^HEN used through glasses colored bright, 
The reason often varies slight, 
And perches on the fad. 



A PLAINTIFF 

A LICENSED SLANDERER. 

/^ CHARGE, if made and not sustained. 
Oft leaves one's record badly stained 
The public never try the case. 
But judge it only by its face. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A DEFENDANT 

ONE WHO USUALLY PAYS THE COSTS. 

/f^NE acting in his own defense 

Should be freed from all expense ; 
Unless it's proven he's at fault, 
The fees should go with the assault. 

DENTIST 

A SCIENTIST OP UNPOPULAR EXTRACTION. 

11=11 IS strength lies in his patients' fears ; 

But, deaf alike to groan and tears, 
He plows his way, thro' face and frame. 
To earn his fees and gather fame. 

FAMILIARITY 

ASSUMING A PROPRIETARY INTEREST. 

IpAMILIARITY breeds contempt, they say. 

And causes a loss of respect ; 
It's best to discourage familiar airs, 
And only one's friendship protect. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MEDICINE 

ANY OLD THING. 

/^ LATIN or high-sounding label — 

A recommendation or two, — 

And the masses of people will take it 

Because it's something quite new. 

* 

STRATEGY 

PLAYING ON THE CONFIDENCE OP OTHERS. 

(g^TRATEGY and treachery combined 

Are often used for selfish ends ; 
When, through cruelty refined, 
Insolence with pride distends. 

* 

TIMIDITY 

OVERRATING OPPOSITION. 

"tTIMIDITY is a spirit coy, 

Approval always wooing ; 
Independence is a joy — 
Aggressive, always doing. 
86 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MEDDLER 

THE COMPANION OF EXPLANATION. 

y^ DISPOSITION to interfere, 

Where personally not concerned ; 
In case of smoke their faces appear, 
And are often badly burned. 

SOLITAIRE 

THE BACHELOR'S FRIEND. 

jpTJE loves this solitary game, 

Because there's none to cheat ; 
He plays it early, and plays it late, 
Till "paresis" is complete. 



GRAND 

A MEDLEY OF CHANCE. 

y^N aristocratic game is this, 

Combining "whist" and "hearts;" 
" Cinch " also plays a leading role, 
But " Grand " improves the parts. 
87 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



WHIST 

A COMPOSITE OF BRAINS AND EGOTISM. 

1^ GAME, dependent on another's hand, 

Is played through combination ; 
Each play should be wisely planned — 
Misplays cause indignation. 



EUCHRE 

CHARITY'S PRINCIPAL SUPPORT. 

^tt'HIS easy game requires no skill, — 

Its strength is in surprises ; 
For often those who know the least 
Receive the largest prizes. 

HEARTS 

A WICKED GAME OP CHANCE. 

I^ASED on value, it becomes 

A problem of much doubt ; 
The more you win, the more 57'ou loose,- 
So strive to do without. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PENUCHLE 

A MATRIMONIAL GAME. 

IJT'S here a woman has her rights, 

And counts for value quite ; 
A Queen well married, or four alone, 
Beats all the Jacks in sight. 



A HOTEL MANAGER 

ONE WHO FURNISHES BRAINS FOR THE GUESTS, AND 
DISAPPOINTMENTS TO THE STOCKHOLDERS. 

^ir'O rule, and yet to please, — 

To disappoint, and then appease, — 
Requires by far more care and skill 
Than adding items to the bill. 

A BROKER 

A FRACTIONAL DEDUCTOR. 

II IFE to him is one revision. 

Based upon a small division ; 
Matters not the kind of pelf. 
Nor wants of others— only self. 
8g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A MERCHANT 

ONE WHO REPRESENTS A BASE OP SUPPLIES. 

T'S here the honest toiler's mite 



Is changed for goods of value quite, — 
Unless, perchance, for bargain's sake, 
The profits "weights and measures" make. 



GAIETY 

THE CARBONIC GAS IN COMPRESSED SPIRITS. 

^HEN opened up, it comes in spurts, 
And while it's fussy, never hurts ; 
Sparkling and active while it lives. 
We like the flavor which it gives. 

AN EGOTIST 

THE DRUM MAJOR OP ASSURANCE. 

II N public affairs he takes a hand, 

Most conspicuous figure on the stand ; 
And if a demonstration's planned, 
He's usually found ahead of the band. 

go 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PATRIOTISM 

THE INSTINCT OF PROTECTION. 

'tFHE soldier struggling in deadly feud, 

The lion watching o'er his brood, 
The mother guarding well her child. 
Are all instinctive passions wild. 



DESPONDENCY 

PHYSICAL DEGENERATION. 

IIF long continued, there is danger, 

Which activity dispels ; 
Contact with a friend or stranger 
Transfers trouble from themselves. 



MIND READER 

ONE WITH SENSITIZED BRAIN. 

IJT'S easy for him to read your mind, 

Or present thoughts, for pelf ; 
Unless to common sense you're blind, 
You'll save your cash and read yourself. 

9^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CUISINE 

A MORE POWERFUL FACTOR THAN THE CHURCH. 

/^LL men of affairs are high livers, — 

All high livers not men of affairs ; 
Food, when abundant and toothsome. 
Is more in demand than prayers. 

± 
LOVE 

A CRAVING FOR CONSTANT ASSOCIATION WITH AN IDEAL. 

n OST to everything, it seems. 

Except the pleasure of one's dreams ; 
Thoughts that live in realms above. 
All-absorbing — such is love. 

INGRATITUDE 

A LIVELY APPRECIATION OF FAVORS YET TO COME. 

/^ LESSON never fully learned, 

How quickly gratitude is turned — 
Old friends for new, then old are spumed. 
And Nature sheds a tear. 
gz 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PRUDENCE 

CONFINING ONE'S SELF TO THE LIMITS OP SAFETY. 

/^I VIRTUE 'tis much overdone, 

The line that's drawn, a rigid one ; 
It's best to live a life more plastic 
And make your limit a bit elastic. 



MOTHER-IN-LAW 

A DETHRONED MONARCH. 

fjojER child's selection is accepted, 

And placed under rigid inspection ; 
If unworthy, — though not rejected, — 
She is sadly in need of protection. 

$ 
DAUGHTER-IN-LAW 

AN OBJECT OF SUSPICION. 

/^ HUSBAND to please is quite enough, 

And keeps her wits in action ; 
To please his family's pretty tough, 
When love is no satisfaction. 

93 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SON-IN-LAW 

A CULPRIT ON TRIAL. 

^tPHE jury's lenient if it is shown 

That love and money are plenty ; 
Dissatisfaction soon is known, 
If the " pocketbook " grows empty. 

PRIME 

THE ZENITH OF MANHOOD. 

^^EN usually say they're just at prime, 

When thinking of marrying the second time ; 
An attempt to prove he's as young as she ; — 
But when she's at prime, where will his prime be? 



SELF-MADE MAN 

ONE WHO HAS FASHIONED WITHOUT TOOLS. 

^tPHE structure, when completed, 

Perhaps lacks style and polish ; 
But such work is not defeated, 
And is not easy to demolish. 

94 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SUCCESS 

THE PRODUCT OF AMBITION. 

^tPHE wheel of fortune turns so fast, 

The same conditions rarely last ; — 
If sound in body, sound in mind, 
No greater wealth can India find. 

A MINISTER 

A SIGNBOARD AT THE CROSSROADS OF LIFE. 

"tFRUDGING through life's pathway. 

Many a weary stride 
Might have been avoided 

Had we only used the guide. 



A CRITIC 

ONE WITH A CONVEX IMAGINATION. 

II F the gem has flaws you'd like to hide, 

Bury it deep in ocean's tide, — 
For nowhere else on all the globe 
Is safe from searching eye and probe. 

9S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OBSEaUIOUSNESS 

CRINGING SERVILITY TO OTHERS'. 

[INSINCERITY, of mean intent,— 

Sickening platitudes, never meant, — 
Watching for a chance to grasp 
The power he sees within your clasp. 

GOVERNMENT 

THE SEAT OP POWER. 

WHETHER republican in form 

Or by royalty selected, 
The chair of State, from danger's storm. 
Needs always to be well protected. 



WISDOM 

A REFLECTION FROM ONE'S OWN MIRROR. 

I^ACH brain's its own adjuster 

Of the things that round it cluster 
It carries little thought or place. 
For wisdom found beyond its space. 
g6 




GOVERNMENT. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



POLITENESS 

A METHOD ADOPTED PRINCIPALLY BY OLD PEOPLE TO 
MAKE THEMSELVES ATTRACTIVE. 

^OUNG and fresh and full of skip, 

Attraction is in form and lip ; 
But when one's old and lost his grip, 
He makes it up in "bow and dip." 

PALMIST 

ONE SKILLED IN INTERPRETING FALSEHOODS FROM AN 
ATOM OF TRUTH. 

N weaker nature oft we find, 
A little truth will make one blind; 
When superstition has full sway 
The "little truth" is driven away. 



DIPLOMACY 

THE ART OF MAKING EVERYTHING APPEAR AGREEABLE. 

II N controversy there are less stings, 

In handling disagreeable things, 
If one has but the tact to say 
The hard things in a pleasant way. 

97 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CLUB 

A PRIVILEGED ASSOCIATION. 

/^ CLUB'S intended to keep select 

Those you most desire to meet ; — 
Association brings respect, 

And insures a man against defeat. 

TOURIST 

A GLOBE TROTTER. 

/f^NE derives something from travel, 

Obtained in no other way ; — 
Education, refinement, or whatever. 
It's a benefit likely to stay. 



FRIENDS 

THOSE WHO OVERLOOK YOUR WEAKNESSES. 

ZONE'S friends should be his strong support 

In times of greatest trouble, 
But they often run at the first report ; — 
Such friendship's found a bubble. 
g8 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TITLES 

THE PRINCIPAL ASSETS OP A DECAYED NOBILITY. 

/f^RIGINAL titles were emblems of merit, 

Not greatly displayed by those who inherit ; 
Unlike the custom in days of old, 
Titles now are bought and sold. 



DESOLATION 

SPIRITUAL PARALYSIS. 

I^ESOLATION is not complete 

Till hope has been countermanded ; 
The soul is never obsolete. 
And action is soon demanded. 



SOCIETY 

THE CULLINGS FROM ARISTOCRACY. 

<S^OCIETY gathered under a name, 

Has many virtues merited ; 
With aristocracy it's the same. 
They've many vices "inherited." 

99 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CRIBBAGE 

A MATHEMATICAL GAME. 

II T puzzles some to understand 
Why fifteen counts but two ; 
Why nineteen points can not be made, 
But twenty-nine will do. 

BOND 

CHAINING A PROMISE. 

^tPHE weakness of human nature 

Makes man insist on the right ; 
A promise with him is safer 
After it's chained down tight. 



SMOKING CAR 

THE FILTERING TANK OF DIFFERENCES. 

/^ STALE tobacco-reeking air, 

Jew and gentile crowded there ; 
More like a stable than a car, 
It almost spoils one's good cigar. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SUCCESSOR 

THE ONE WHO ADVERTISES YOUR FAULTS. 

IpijE sees no good in anything done, 

" Old methods " he despises ; 
Your assistance he will shun, — 
All your faults he criticises. 

$ 
RELATIVE 

ONE YOU ARE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR. 

I^ECAUSE there runs within your blood, 

A kindred drop or two — 
The world holds you responsible 
For whatever he may do. 

COLLECTIONS 

ONE OF THE STUMBLING BLOCKS IN RELIGION. - 



^if'HE edge of a sermon's turned 

Whenever the plate is passed; 
Eloquence, even when learned. 
Is despised if money is asked. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ARGUMENT 

CONVINCING THE OTHER FELLOW. 

F men would listen to reason 
When you make it plain and clear, 
They'd show much better judgment, 
And you'd have less to fear. 



PEDIGREE 

THE HANDLE TO ARISTOCRACY. 

/^RISTOCRACY without a handle 

Has a somewhat fishy smell ; 
Wealth alone is not sufficient, — 
It only makes a man a swell. 

D,EATH 

INVOLUNTARY BANKRUPTCY OF THE SOUL. 

(^ILDED lives, or stacks of metal. 

Count for nothing when we settle ; 
Argument's of no avail, — 
"Weight and measure" then prevail. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RELICS 

THE REMNANTS OF HISTORY. 

[j=|[ISTORY is a medley 

Composed of many pieces ; 
Relics, if they're genuine, 
Are subjects for a Thesis. 



A WIFE 

A PERCENTAGE PARTNER IN MAN'S HAPPINESS. 

'nr'RUST, as Nature's sweetest gift. 

Controls the man, however swift ; 
His erring head returns to rest 
Upon her loving, trusting breast. 

* 
A FIANCEE 

A SECURITY FOR CHATTEL MORTGAGE. 

^HILE not security the best, 

It usually stands the crucial test ; 
The great advantage, if we choose it, 
Lies in the fact we can not lose it. 
103 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REMEMBRANCE 

AN AFFLICTION TO MOST PEOPLE. 

NE'S memory furnishes sorrow, 
And shadows of pleasure long past ; 
You can't put it off until to-morrow, 
It's always present, unasked. 



HEREDITY 

ONE'S ORIGINAL CAPITAL. 

"tPHE mould in which an object's cast 

Determines size and form, at last ; — 
Through time and labor it is finished, 
But grain and shape are not diminished. 



VENGEANCE 

SOOTHING SATISFACTION. 

I/^UCH time is spent in pursuing, 

And when at last o'ertaken, 
The discovery ensuing, 

Oft proves you were mistaken. 
104. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TACT 

THE OIL OF DIPLOMACY. 

■tFACT is the weapon of wisdom 

In every phase of life ; 
It clears the path of obstruction, 
Preventing bloodshed and strife. 



TWILIGHT 

SUGGESTIVE OP HUNGER. 

■iTWILIGHT has been described 

As the shadow of coming night ; 
If an evening meal is not supplied, 
Man questions the shadow's right. 

SURPLUS 

RESERVE FORCES. 

/^ SURPLUS produces peace of mind 

Drawing out one's best reserves ; 
Temptation then is left behind 
To poach on another's preserves. 
105 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A CYNIC 



ONE WHO SEES THE FLY ON THE BARN DOOR BEFORE 
HE SEES THE DOOR. 

1^ MICROSCOPICAL eye has he, 

And sees beyond what others see ; 
The one of all to be most feared, — 
With him all things are beauty-sheared. 

AN APOLOGIST 

A SOCIETY TINKER. 

IpfllS business 'tis to hide the flaws, 

Condone the faults, excuse the cause ; 
Preserve intact the social rules. 
And pacify the differing schools. 

* 

THE ARTIST 

ONE WHO PAINTS PICTURES OF THE IMAGINATION ON 
ENDURING CANVAS. 

1^ PICTURE once in beauty limned. 

Though time-worn, stained, and sadly dimmed ; 
Its outline vivid memories bring. 
And stamp it there a living thing. 

io6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ART 

THE LOVE OP PERFECTION. 

y^ SINGLE ''sense" leaves undefined 

Perfection of all other kind ; 
But, in its own completed part, 
It forms the highest type in art. 



ADVERTISING 

A METHOD OP CRAFTILY ATTRACTING ATTENTION. 

'tT^HE doctor, the lawyer, and even church people 
Throw out their lights from the highest steeple; 
Unlike the tradesman, in his open part, 
They are "past-masters" in the crafty art. 

* 
PREDICTION 

FORECASTING EVENTS. 

"tt'HE city man's no prophet, — 

Brick walls are not effective ; 
One should live in the country 
To get the real perspective. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ILLUSTRATION 

FIXING IDEAS. 

N black and white or color, — 
Or in epigram, perhaps, — 
Each fills its own conditions, 
And the memory does not lapse. 

A HERO 

ONE WHO SACRIFICES SELF FOR THE GOOD OP OTHERS 
WITHOUT THOUGHT OP REWARD. 

^ALOR and goodness well combined, 

Fearless judgment well refined. 
Stamp him sound as virgin gold ; — 
His deeds shall be in history told. 



AN EPITAPH 

A DESCRIPTIVE TAG. 

II ARGE or small, as his fortunes were, — 

A few lines, to give renown. 
Carved in a stone of varied size. 
Which serves to keep him down. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A PROMOTER 

ONE WHO EXCHANGES BRAINS FOR CAPITAL. 

QRGANIZERS rule the world, 

Not the narrow, carping critics ; 
Methods clear and actions bold 

Place them high above the mystics. 

LIBRARY 

A USEFUL COLLECTION MADE ORNAMENTAL. 

/^ PLEASURE, if carefully graded, 
A treasure of learning profound ; 
But then it's so often paraded. 
For the manner in which it is bound. 

MANUSCRIPT 

THE FINAL REPOSITORY OF GREAT THOUGHTS. 

[pGOTISM'S feverish taper. 

Makes the writer's genius bum ; 
Brilliant thoughts are put on paper. 
For a publisher to spurn. 
log 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COURTSHIP 

LOVE'S PRELIMINARY NEGOTIATIONS. 

>^T first there's a deference, 

Then a marked preference, 
And plans are carefully laid ; 

There's grave consultation, 

With friend and relation. 
And the wife bids farewell to the maid. 



MATCHMAKER 

THE ENCYCLOPEDIA OF PEDIGREE. 

Ip^ATCHMAKING is a profession, 

An aristocratic suggestion ; 
Usually an off 'ring to power and greed,- 
No use for love or hate to plead. 

* 
PROCLIVITIES 

IDIOSYNCRACIES OP DISPOSITION. 

jjDIOSYNCRACIES mark some men, 
And usually show their breeding ; 
All are afflicted, now and then, 
But never like the conceding. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COLLEGE GRADUATE 

ONE WARRANTED TO WEAR WHEN SHRUNK. 

rpILLED with knowledge to the brim, 

In appearance very learned ; 
He may turn it to account 
When experience is earned. 



REPRESENTATION 

THE PROTECTION OF RIGHTS. 

[REPRESENTATION is selected 

That we may have our rights protected ; 
But when the "o'er true tale is told," 
We find those rights are basely sold. 



MARBLE HEART 

SELFISH INDIFFERENCE. 

It^ARBLE'S a stone, polishing fine. 

Always looks well if cleaned ; 
Spots show soon on this background. 
And indifference turns them green. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONaUEST 

ASSUMING CONTROL OF DEFEAT. 

|p\EFEAT moves slowly amid its dead, 

With heavy heart and drooping head ; 
It's paid in full disaster's toll, 
And leaves to conquest all control. 

PROFANITY 

THE LIMIT OP LANGUAGE. 

^HEN used in terms not too aggressive, 
'Tis meant, no doubt, to be expressive - 
But there's no time in all your life, 
You'd like to hear it from your wife. 

PROPOSAL 

MAN CAPITULATING TO CUPID. 

Ij^AN'S always in a hurry. 

When he's tender things to say ; 
There's no need of such a flurry, — 
Shfe's not going to run away. 




PROFANITY. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ANCESTOR 

THE ONE WHO CAUSED ALL THE TROUBLE. 

II F sometimes you think you were cheated, 
If, in conflict with life, you're defeated. 
Don't blame too harshly your pater. 
For, perhaps, his troubles were greater. 



BRUSaUENESS 

AN EVIDENCE OP A SOFT HEART. 

"tPHE thickness of the outer coat 

Often conceals the form ; 
This roughness proves a barrier 
To affections soft and warm. 



INVITATION 

THE COURTESY OF CONSIDERATION. 

if^FTEN the cause of a ruffle. 

If, haply, the loss of a name 
Occurs in society's shuffle ; — 

But you never know whom to blame. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HEDGING 

LEAVING THE BACK GATE OPEN. 

y^LTHOUGH one's skilled in action, 

There's always room for doubt ; 
It's a safer undertaking 
If he's left a sure way out. 

* 
CRANK 

AN ADVOCATE OF SINGLE IDEAS. 

CONCENTRATION on a single thought 

Developed the good that chemistry taught,- 
Bringing the " finders " a nation's thanks ; 
If they had failed, they'd be called "cranks." 



ANARCHIST 

A REFORMER. 

(Some reformers do much mischief. 

Operating through a mob ; 
There is but one way to beat them — 
That is with a hickory club. 
114 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONVERSATION 

THE LANGUAGE OF INTELLIGENCE. 

II TS strength lies in its modesty, 

Or the subject talked about ; 
Who knows the least oft talks the most, 
But the world soon finds him out. 

HYPNOTISM 

THE CONTROL OF MIND OVER MATTER. 

/^ MUCH overrated science this, 

Made worse by mysteries told ; 
Its only value's in surgical work, — 
One's conscience is never controlled. 



DISASTER 

INABILITY TO COMPETE. 

W|^HEN by disaster overcome, 

Your real labors have just begun ; 
For then you have, at last, appealed 
To best resources, long concealed. 

115 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



POKER 

AN INVENTION OF THE DEVIL. 

/^TTRACTIVE, seductive, destructive 

To morals and principles both ; 
When once they've acquired the fever, 
Both sexes to leave it are loth. 



PRODIGAL 

SUGGESTIVE OF A CALF. 

/^N adventuresome spirit, inclined to roam, 

And live a life that's faster. 
When out of milk will soon come home, 
And take his place in pasture. 



ALIMONY 

WHAT IT COST YOU. 

^HEN all accounts are settled. 
And you know just what it cost. 
Matrimonial recollections 
Experience a heavy frost. 
ii6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SUBURBANITE 

ONE WHO MISTAKES HEALTH FOR ECONOMY. 

'tFOO proud to give the real reason, 
He puts it on grounds of health, 
When every one knows from his income, 
The ruling cause is lack of wealth. 

$ 
FLIRTATION 

THE MOST COMMON PASTIME. 

II N many minds 'tis uppermost; 
Seldom is opportunity lost ; — 
It robs the world of much that's good ; 
Discredits purest womanhood. 

CUSTOM 

THE BEATEN PATH OF OUR PREDECESSORS. 

^E swear by father's politics 
And our family pastor's creed ; 
Our family doctor's pill box, 
Has all our wants relieved. 
7/7 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



NOSTALGIA 

A COMPLETED EFFECT OF ABSENCE. 

^tt'IRED Nature clamors for a rest, — 

All else is cast aside ; 
Each, thought of distant home is blest, — 
Each mile post is decried. 



CREDULITY 

OVER-CONFIDENCE. 

H ! the vast army credulity's slain, 
Embracing all classes and races ! 
A new generation's repeating the same, 
And falling in just the same places. 

* 

GENIUS 

ONE DEVELOPING SINGLE IDEAS. 

/^ SINGLE idea, well exploited, 

Marks a genius, more or less ; 
But a lifetime spent in effort, 
Crowns the genius of success. 
ii8 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RESPONSIBILITY 

THE LIMIT OP YOUR ABILITY. 

[RESPONSIBILITY makes the man, 

In bringing out resources. 
Striving to do the best one can 
Is developing new forces. 



HAIRDRESSER 

SOCIETY'S ENCYCLOPEDIA. 

rp'ROM house to house she plies her trade, 

Retailing gossip, and acting maid ; 
Nothing escapes her eagle eye, — 
She's ready to sell, others to buy. 



A BANKER 

A MANIPULATOR OF MONEY. 

||=i|E turns the wheel alone for gain, — 

From rich and poor, it's all the same ; 
He grinds alike, through grief and pain, — 
Persuades the world he's not to blame. 
iig 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



A SPECULATOR 

ONE WHO INVESTS ON EXPECTATIONS. 

T|=i|IS future's bright, the past is seen 

Shrouded with things that might have been ; 
Such logic makes one's reason fall, — 
He risks too much and loses all. 



A CONTRACTOR 

ONE WHO EXECUTES THE PLANS OP OTHERS FOR 
A CONSIDERATION. 

Ir^ IGHTY minds plan mighty things, 

To meet conditions progress brings ; 
But he who fills the strongest part 
Masters, applies, the builder's art. 



TASTE 

INDIVIDUAL PREFERENCES. 

'ir'HE taste for art, or grosser things, 

From personal preference always springs; 
Prompt Nature gives for use, not waste, 
Environment gives birth to taste. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EXACTION 

COMPELLING TRIBUTE. 

IJ^ISPLAY is often used as power, 

Exacting tribute to its vanity ; — 
Thriving on this, as though 'twere food. 
It grows to pride's insanity. 

INCOMPATIBILITY 

LACK OF TACT. 

^HILE oil and water may not mix, 
" Diplomacy's oil " will vinegar fix ; 
They make together a perfect paste, 
Concealing even "a bad egg" taste. 



STEPFATHER 

ONE WHO PURCHASED OPPORTUNITY AT A PREMIUM. 

'nr'HE opportunity is there 

To fill another man's place ; 
But unless he exercises care, 
Comparison will him disgrace. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



STEPMOTHER 

ONE WHO BLAZES THE WAY FOR A NEW SERIES. 

'tP'O her, life's in the future,— 

What's past is with the dead ; 
She does not like suggestions, — 
Of " relations " is in dread. 



STEPCHILDREN 

DELICATE PROBLEMS. 

(g^TEPCHILDREN are delicate problems, 

Made worse by enforced respect ; 
Love is left out of their training, 
All motives, they learn to suspect. 



HYPOCRISY 

ASSUMING ANOTHER'S VIRTUES. 

/^N ass may don a lion's skin, 

A fool appear most wise ; — 
But to act the part so none can tell, 
Is a gift one can't despise. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SYNDICATE 

A CONCENTRATION OF CONFEDERATES. 

(COMBINING action, wealth, or power,- 

Assuming some fair name, — 
Without a conscience, heart, or soul. 
They squeeze mankind for gain. 



MARRIAGE 

ATTACHING AN OFFICIAL SEAL TO A PARTNERSHIP 
CONTRACT. 

1^ RECOGNIZED, legal necessity. 

Upheld by both Church and State ; — 
Negotiate wisely the contract, 

For that will determine your fate. 

EXPECTATION 

HOPE OF FULFILLMENT. 

^tF'HE fire that warms the human heart, 

And quiets all its fears, — 
A transient heat, which soon departs, 
If the unforeseen appears. 
123 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



POWER 

A FORCE LIMITED ONLY BY ACQUIESCENCE. 

'tt'HE exercise of power is grand, — 
Submission to it's only feigned ; 
A chance to seize the coveted gift 
Is a signal for all the scenes to shift. 

* 

A STATESMAN 

A REFINED PRODUCT OP POLITICS. 

|]=i|E is the bulwark of the great, 

And handles all affairs of State ; — 
Soldier of liberty, a nation's pride, 
Standing with progress, side by side. 



TRUST 

A FIXED RESPONSIBILITY TO OTHERS. 

/^ TRUST is a sacred thing, 

To protect the living and dead ; 
The trusts we hear about now-a-days. 
Should be called " corners " instead. 
124 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FINANCIER 

ONE OF UNLIMITED CREDIT. 

|j=jjE means well, in his uses 

Of the dollars others earn ; 
And can furnish good excuses, 
Till the courts begin to churn. 

* 
CONCEIT 

AN ASSUMPTION OP VIRTUE. 

^ONCEIT is often impressive, 

When not by ignorance marred ; — 
Then, it's like opening the front door, 
And finding it all backyard. 



COSTUME 

SOCIETY'S FRAMEWORK. 

{IT'S a truth, tho' much regretted, 

That "costume" is society's passion; 

Though buyer and wearer both are fretted, 

They must yield to the popular fashion. 

125 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SCANDAL 

THE RESULT OF GOSSIP. 

(S^CANDAL is worse than mere gossip,- 

Travels farther and faster, too ; 
Ruining its victim in half the time — 
Dead shot, even if it's not true. 

$ 
PRAISE 

RESPECTFUL ACKNOWLEDGMENT. 

Ip'OR worthy deeds that men perform, 

Praise is often just and due ; 
But it should be at once " enjoined," 
When not altogether true. 



JUSTICE 

TRUTH QUESTIONED BY DECISION. 

JJUSTICE results from opinion 

Of tener than from rules ; 
Truth is shown through prejudice. 
And a verdict left to fools. 
12b 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HUMAN NATURE 

INDIVIDUAL INSTINCTS. 

'ir'HE worst are common to nature, 

Unnecessary to name ; 
When yours are appealed to, you'll find it 
An effort to hide the same. 

* 
HORSE TRADER 

THE EMBODIMENT OP DECEIT. 

^HE Silver Rule's his motto,— 
The "Golden's" cast aside; 
'"'■Do others or they'll do you" 
Is the method always tried. 

PRIMA DONNA 

AN ANGEL OF SONG, A DEVIL IN DISPOSITION. 

ONITED vices, bold and strong. 

Often spend their force in song- ; 
This nervous power, if cultured fine 
In music, almost seems divine. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REPUTATION 

DAILY BULLETINS FROM AN UNCHARITABLE WORLD. 

O shield does Mother Nature give, 
From public critics, as we live ; 
Our lives are public all the time. 
Like linen drying on the line. 

REMORSE 

THE CANKER OF FOLLY. 

jp'OLLY chases fancies 

In their erratic course ; 
Experience brings wisdom. 
With the canker of remorse. 



POLITICIAN 

A COMBINATION OF SELFISH IDEAS. 

'nr'RUE to none, excepting self, — 

Dreams alone of power and pelf ; 
A few short years, perhaps, elected, — 
He disappears — despised, rejected. 
128 




REMORSE. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EMOLUMENTS 

SPOILS OP THE VICTOR. 

CS^UCCESS, without consideration, 

Lacks all elements of conquest ; 
The greater the compensation, 
The more bitter is the contest. 



ORGIES 

THE OVERFLOW OP DISSIPATION. 

I^'EN dissipation has a limit, 

Of the base, unmanly kind ; 
When decency's no longer in it. 
As beastly orgie it's defined. 



ASSOCIATION 

SEEKING ONE'S LEVEL. 

Ij^ARM may spring from association, 

As water bubbling from a spring;- 
Finding soon your close relation 
With the evil within its ring. 

izg 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ABUSE 

THE WEAPON OF COWARDICE. 

i^BUSE is often kept concealed, 
When one is well protected ; 
The coward's weapon's soon revealed, 
Where defense has been neglected. 

$ 

DAMAGES 

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN REAL AND PERSPECTIVE. 
VALUE. 

WHENEVER damages are claimed, 

Values are at once inflated, — 
Confident they'll be maintained, 
Although greatly overrated. 



GUARANTEE 

PLEDGING RESPONSIBILITY. 

SECURITIES, when given in pledge, 

Have a value, more or less ; 
The surety oft will try to hedge, 
But one's not left without redress. 

IJO 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IDENTIFICATION 

PROVING CONCLUSIONS. 



ID you ever reason it out, 
With the millions of faces about, 
How identification is complete 
Through shape of face, and not of feet ? 



SHREWDNESS 

A CALCULATING ABILITY. 

^HREWDNESS in talent should not lack, 

Nor be a subject of reproof ; 
But what comes over the devil's back 
Is sure to get beneath his hoof. 

TEMPERAMENT 

NATURE'S CLASSIFICATION. 

<S^OME are born to serve, 

Others to command ; 
Nature's laws we should observe, 
On our own foundation stand. 
^3^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SERENITY 

BASKING IN THE SUNSHINE OF PROSPERITY. 

^ERENITY, when rightly shown, 

Brings joy in abundant measure ; 
It broadens, softens, sweetens all. 
And makes of life a daily pleasure. 

* 
SEPARATION 

THE BEST METHOD OF ADJUSTING DIFFICULTIES. 

^HEN two persons disagree. 



It is best to live apart ; 
Constant friction, one can see, 
Will break most any heart. 

SECRETIVENESS 

THE BEST IMITATION OF WISDOM. 

jpVEN a fool's considered wise 

So long as he doesn't speak ; 
His conversation opes one's eyes. 
And shows wherein he's weak. 
132 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROGRESS 

THE ADVANCE OF CIVILIZATION. 

p?ROGRESS is a force in action, 

Conquering all opposition, — 
Knowing- neither creed nor faction,- 
Establishing its own condition. 



JURISDICTION 

THE LIMIT OP AUTHORITY. 

/^UTHORITY can not be used 

Beyond its lawful jurisdiction ; 
Danger is, 'twould be abused. 
If not subject to restriction. 



HYSTERIA 

AN UNCONTROLLABLE NERVOUS EXCITEMENT. 

/^S if controlled by another will, 

These manifestations run their course ; 
The subject is irresponsible, till 
The paroxysm spends its force. 

^33 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



NEATNESS 

A CONSPICUOUS HABIT. 

y^ HIGHLY commendable virtue, 

But can easily overflow ; — 
A woman scrubbed her floor so hard, 
She fell through to the floor below. 

$ 

OPPOSITION 

THE BASIS OF ARGUMENT. 

/j^PPOSITION is a habit with some, 

Whose natures are perverse ; 
A little diplomacy will overcome 
And establish quite the reverse. 

$ 
SKILL 

THE SUCCESS OF MANIPULATION. 

OTHETHER product of one's hands, 

Or alone of brain and eye ; — 
To be successful in your plans, 
Catch the hare, then make the pie. 

^34 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DEPOSITION 

A SWORN DECLARATION IN WRITING. 

Ipll AN'S often careless of another's rights, 

And in the use of pen as well ; 
Compelled to swear to what he writes, 
He finds he has much less to tell. 

$ 

COMMITTEE 

AN ORGANIZATION OF CONSERVATISM. 

(S^AFETY often lies in numbers — 

Hence committees are provided ; 
They're less liable to blunders, — 
Responsibility is divided, 

FIRE INSURANCE 

HEDGING THROUGH FEAR. 

<S^OMETIMES the irony of fate 
Fills one with consternation ; 
He's willing to pay a liberal rate 
For a chance at compensation. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TESTIMONIAL 

FLATTERY'S WEAPON. 



Y'ESTIMONIALS come for the asking,- 

The standard is not very high ; 
The applicant often is masking 
Your vainness to flatter thereby. 



GAS 

ILLUMINATING VAPOR. 

OT furnished alone thro' pipes underground, 
But from pulpit, as well as from bench ; 
Unless its illuminating virtues are sound, 
Its origin's traced through its stench. 

* 
CASHIER 

ONE WITH MORE RESPONSIBILITY THAN REMUNERATION 

i^ TARGET for the business community. 

Who criticises all of his acts ; 
Even private life has no immiinity, — 
The slightest misfortune reacts. 
J36 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HEIRESS 

USUALLY AN UNHAPPY CREATURE. 

)pi\ID idleness and luxury reared, 

She's apt to be less loved than feared ; 
The practical side of life is covered, — 
Love without money is promptly smothered. 

* 

DIGNITY 

SOCIETY'S DRESS SUIT. 

P'ECOMING to all of every age, 

Admissible, too, at any stage, — 
An ornament, when in perfect form. 
Disgusting, when it's soiled or torn. 

* 
EPICURE 

A CREATURE OF DISTORTED APPETITE. 

II IFE to him is one cuisine, — 

Fancy dishes and salads green; — 
Growing steadily coarse and stout, 
His end is reached in painful gout. 
137 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CARE 

THE SHADOW OF SUCCESS. 

/^OPPORTUNITY leads success, 

Care comes close behind ; 
Responsibilities strongly press, 
Then toil begins to grind. 

* 
BACTERIA 

"WILL-O'-THE-WISPS" IN THE BOG OF SCIENCE. 

^HASED through water and vegetable form. 

With a series of catches and misses — 
They're present in everything under the sun, 
And now they've found them in "kisses." 

* 
JEALOUSY 

THE INSANITY OF AFFECTION. 

Ip'AITH and trust in what you own 

Defy all jealous pangs ; 
Suspicion, when once fully grown, 
Lays bare its ugly fangs. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FEAR 

IRRESOLUTION OP THE SPIRIT. 

Ij OVE or fear controls mankind, — 

They never quite depart ; 
No matter how one's course is lined, 
They dominate the heart. 



DIVORCE 

REPUDIATING A LEGAL CONTRACT. 

IJT may be better broken, 

If the division made is fair ; 
But you can't hide trace or token 
Of an " official seal " once there. 



IMMORTALITY 

THE SUSTAINING HOPE OF MAN. 

Ij^ AN'S business is with the devil, 

Associations create an evil, 
Were it not for the hope of future life. 
What man would care to face the strife? 

'39 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ADVENTURER 

ONE WHO LIVES BY HIS WITS. 

[IS selfish purpose, well concealed, 
Is hid beneath a polish, 
Which finally, when truth's revealed, 
His castles will demolish. 

INDEPENDENCE 

ABILITY TO DO FOR YOURSELF. 

(S^TRENGTH in one's position 
Affords much satisfaction ; 
The soul expands, if not the head. 
And smiles at all detraction. 



ARBITRATION 

DOING THE THINKING FOR OTHERS. 

/^RBITRATION is a means of settling. 

When men or nations have disag^reed ; 
But none are ever satisfied. 

No matter how their fate's decreed. 
140 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COMPLIMENTS 

EMPTY PLATITUDES. 

|]=|jOW vanity is flattered, 

By empty compliments ! 
How quickly is it scattered, 
By a little common sense ! 



SYSTEM 

THE LOGIC OF REASON. 

Ij OGIC clears the way for reason, 
Which assembles all the facts ; 
System groups them all in season. 
Leaving a record of its acts. 

* 
CREDITOR 

ONE WHO NEVER LOSES YOU. 

II F, the victim of misfortune, 

One becomes the hapless prey — 
'Twould be better to assist him. 
He'd be more disposed to pay. 
141 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DEBTOR 

A DISCIPLE OF HOPE. 

TpTJOPE is never quite abandoned, 

Always there is " one more chance ; " 
When at last the debtor's stranded, 
It's the creditor's turn to dance. 

* 
MONEY LENDER 

A NIGHTMARE OP DISTRUST. 

/f^NLY happy in possession, 

Holding notes is not enough ; — 
Always fearing some depression 
May compel to ''take the stuff." 

PATRIMONY 

YOUR INHERITANCE. 

HP in money, it is measure ; 

If in goodness, it's a pleasure ; 
If in selfishness, a curse ; 
If dishonest, it is worse. 
142 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SORROW 

SYMPATHY SUPPRESSED. 

<S. ORROW is better borne alone, 

And silently digested ; 
One's better nature will atone, 
And leave the conscience rested. 

FOOL 

ONE UNACQUAINTED WITH HIMSELF. 

[j^NOW thyself, first of all, 

If you'd have other's respect ; 
Seeming to be what you are not 
Makes sensible folk suspect. 

PRINCIPLES 

THE PEW SUPPORTS UNDER CIVILIZATION. 

^ERE it not for the solid props 
In the virtues we inherit, 
We'd be a race of savages 
In a world devoid of merit. 

143 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PLEDGE 

AN AGREEMENT TO PERFORM. 

Ip^AN usually makes a pledge, 

When filled with due contrition ; 
If weak enough to break it, then 
He's nearer to perdition. 

WAGE-EARNER 

ONE SELLING BRAINS AND SKILL BY THE HOUR. 

'Tr'HE one who produces the wealth 
Is brainy and strong and able ; 
Yet society's rules oft make it a crime 
To sit at his master's table. 



PROFUNDITY 

CAPACITY WELL PILLED. 

j|F in learning it's applied. 

An eager nature is descried, 
Knowledge keeps him busy stacking. 
But practicability's often lacking. 
144 




WAGE EARNER. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



BANKRUPTCY 

RECEIVING FINANCIAL ABSOLUTION. 

^njFHOUGH debts be piled up mountain-high, 

With floods of interest below, 
He bathes in legal fountains nigh, 
And comes out white as snow. 



LITIGATION 

THE DISAPPOINTMENT OP EXPECTANCY. 

'ir'O gain a point, we rush to court,- 
Then find we are there to stay 
Till the lawyers milk us, like a cow 
Found in a pasture, estray. 



LUMINARY 

THE REFLECTED LIGHT OF INDIVIDUALITY. 

S SUBJECT'S made quite luminous. 
When brought before the curtain. 
But the result don't satisfy 

If picked before it's ripe, that's certain, 

^45 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



AFFECTATION 

WEAKNESS OF IMITATION. 

/^RIGINALITY is respected, 

Affectation, promptly rejected ; — 
To copy a man's personality 
Is a species of cheap rascality. 

DISGUISE 

THE MOST POPULAR GARMENT. 

jr^ISGUISE conceals imperfection, — 

Therefore, it's man's best friend ; 
Its absence would cause detection. 
Unless his defects he could mend. 

INCONGRUOUS 

A SEEMING MISFIT. 

/^ WOMAN tall with husband small 

Was slyly chaffed by many; — 
She always laughingly replied, 
" There are some who haven't any." 
146 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



APPRECIATION 

THE ACQUIESCENCE OF REASON. 

'tP'HE seal of reason's approval, 
When stamped upon an act, 
Is never easy of removal, — 

But stands, through the years, intact. 

CIVILIZATION 

THE PRODUCT OF EDUCATION. 

'ir'H ROUGH education, it's observed. 

Brute instincts are quite often curbed 
Here civilization shows its force, 
A christian makes of a savage coarse. 



SIMPLICITY 

A DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH. 

NE whose simplicity is too plain. 
Fashion often considers rude ; 
But he may be sound of heart and brain — 
Only in action rather crude. 

H7 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



LAUGHTER 

THE OVERFLOW OF A GOOD CONSCIENCE. 

|] AUGHING, when hale and hearty, 

Shows an honest soul within ; 
Unlike the "giggling" at a party, 
Or the mean deceptive "grin." 

$ 
RENOUNCEMENT 

AN ULTIMATUM EASILY FORGOTTEN. 

I^ENOUNCEMENT, sprung from duty. 

Is an ultimatum of much force — 
Unless one's constrained by beauty, — 
Then it's different, of course. 

PRESCRIPTION 

A SUGGESTION OF FAILURE. 

H OSS of health with fear combined. 

The basis is of the doctor's success ; 
He loves to physic all mankind — 
You pay the bills, he makes the guess. 
148 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TRAITOR 

ONE WITHOUT PRINCIPLE. 

/^ TRAITOR'S not only found in war, 

Where discovery's punished by death ; 
The social circle bears many a scar 
Caused by this leper's breath. 

± 
CONGRATULATIONS 

EMPTY PLATITUDES. 

^HAT one has done or hasn't done 
Is subject for congratulation ; 
It seems to be sincere with some, 
While others practice imitation. 



LOGICIAN 

AN ANYLYTICAL REASONER. 

/^ LOGICIAN'S a bit of a cynic, 

In drawing conclusions new ; 
He oft makes a sorry exhibit. 
And bites off more than he can chew. 
i4g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FARMER 

AN APPREHENSIVE PRODUCER. 

'tt'HE greatest mainstay of a nation, — 
Most apprehensive in all creation ; 
About weather and prices, he will always fret, 
It's too hot, too cold, too dry, or too wet. 



HOME 

THE LABORATORY OF RESPECTABILITY. 

||=j|ERE is furnished satisfaction, — 

Soothing comfort, helpful rest ; 
When home loses its attraction, 

Something vile has poisoned the nest. 

TRIUMPH 

THE VICTORY OF SUCCESS. 

i^ SUBJECT for congratulation, 
Lies in triumph fairly won ; 
Victory justifies adulation 
When a worthy deed is done. 
ISO 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SINCERITY 

THE FRIENDSHIP OF TRUTH. 

HILE truth is often exacting, 
No poison is found in its sting ; 
It gives unmistakable warning, 
With sincerity in its ring. 



SECURITY 

THE BASIS OF POSSESSION. 

'tt'HIS definition is no perversion, — 

Without security, all is chaos ; 
It is the safeguard of man's exertion. 
And makes our debtor surely pay us. 



DEFEAT 

THE HUMILIATION OF FAILURE. 

|r5\EFEAT to man is no stranger, — 

He is meeting it every day ; 
In climbing the Ladder of Progress, 
It forever gets in his way. 

'5^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CLEVERNESS 

AN ATTRIBUTE OP SKILL. 

HqjOW often one hears the expression,- 
" Well, now that is really clever ! " 
It's about as crude a confession, 
As " well, now did you ever." 



PROTEST 

THE ENERGY OF OPPOSITION. 

^S^OME are always protesting, — 
Too much, does little good ; 
Some are right in contesting, 
Others would be if they could. 



LOYALTY 

THE PLEDGE OF CONFIDENCE. 

^nf'HIS trait is rarer than you'd believe,- 

Under its guise men will deceive ; 
Only constant when friends agree, — 
Otherwise confidence is but a plea. 
152 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SWINDLER 

AN UNCONSCIONABLE OPERATOR. 

/^ SWINDLER'S one of peculiar type,- 

Works the credulous into belief ; 
And when the opportunity's ripe, 

Reveals himself as the meanest thief. 



ACCIDENTS 

EXPENSIVE SUGGESTIONS. 

^HERE is food for reflection 
In result from disaster ; — 
It revives the recollection 
Of a Heavenly Master. 

IDIOCY 

A FAILURE OF COMPREHENSION. 

jIDIOTS are not all confined, 

One meets them every day ; 
Some roam the streets with feebler mind, 
Than thousands "put away." 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CREDIT 

THE MOST FICKLE DEPENDENCE. 

W|^HEN not particularly needed, 

One can always find it nigh ; 
It must with rapid wings be speeded, — 
At times it flies so very high. 



ADVERSITY 

MAN'S MOST INTIMATE COMPANION. 

/^N enforced companionship is this, 

Always a proof that there's something amiss ; 
One should remember wherever placed, 
That adversity flies if properly faced. 



LIAR 

A PROMINENT MEMBER OF SOCIETY. 

/^N atom of truth he skillfully bends, 
With the aid of falsehood's plier; 
The Law and Gospel have fewer friends, 
Than the artful society liar. 

^5^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PRETENSION 

AN ATTRIBUTE OP HYPOCRISY. 

/^ MAN of some pretension 

Is more privileged to command ; 
He is freer from contention, — 
His wisdom's better planned. 



CHALLENGE 

THE OSTENTATION OP DEPIANCE. 

/^ CHALLENGE of physical strength 

Is not herein intended ; 
Only a plan to measure the length 
Of conspicuous virtues pretended. 



IMPOSSIBILITY 

WHAT USUALLY HAPPENS. 

(SHE explained how "a dog chased a beaver 

Till the animal climbed a tree." 
'Twas impossible to believe her ; — 
But " this beaver had to climb," said she ! 

I5S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SPELLING 

NOT ALWAYS AN EVIDENCE OF EDUCATION. 

/f^NE'S train of thought when disturbed 
Often results in misspelling a word ; 
Don't criticise too harshly then, 
It's after all a slip of the pen. 



BIRTHDAY 

PRIDE'S LEVELER. 

'ir'HE thought that one is growing old, 

And life is short, comes with a shock, 
Tempts him to actions very bold. 
But he can't turn back the clock. 



OBTUSENESS 

DULLNESS OF COMPREHENSION. 

(^ PATIENT man or woman 

Is often called obtuse ; 
You'll find they have acumen 
When victims of abuse. 
^jr6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



APPROPRIATION 

A SPECIFIC PROVISION. 

^HEN politics flavors, 
There is often abuse ; 
But one always favors 
That for personal use. 



STIPULATION 

ADJUSTING CONDITIONS. 

(g^TIPULATION gains consent, 

And deals with man's reserves ; 
A limit is fixed to one's intent. 
In protecting his own preserves. 



NEUTRALITY 

SYMPATHY WITHOUT INTERFERENCE. 

^HILE neutrality is the law of nations. 
It's also an individual right; 
But sympathy gets out of patience 
When it's the under dog in the fight. 

157 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



FRIENDLINESS 

MAGNETIC ATTRACTION. 

^HERE'S an attraction in the eyes, 

That friendliness at once descries; 
A dog may understand this feature, 
And live with a repulsive creature. 

FORGERY 

THE AMBITION OP IMITATION. 

jp'ORGERY is writing another's name, 

And comes from the habit of " kiting ; " 
But other imitations are the same 
As a forgery that's done in writing. 

KITING 

TRUSTING TO LUCK. 

/^jPTIMISTIC through it all. 

He's never much distressed; 
He "robs Peter to pay Paul," 
But is finally suppressed. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



POISON 

PART OP THE COMPOSITION OP LIPE. 

I/^AN, like the reptile creation, 
Carries poison in his stingf ; 
It only causes inflammation, 
While the reptile death can bring. 

* 
DISCRETION 

ESTIMATING RESOURCES. 

^HEN man is thoroughly equipped, 

He has no thought of being whipped ; 
And often makes a strong impression 
By drawing on his friend's discretion. 

* 
WEATHER 

THE SUBTERPUGE OP CONVERSATION. 

IpVERYONE you're forced to meet 

In the office or on the street, 
Takes the weather as a text, 
Or brings it in first, last, or next. 

'S9 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PLAGIARISM 

A FORGERY OP LANGUAGE. 

H ANGUAGE has such varied terms, 

In combination of expression ; 
And thought to language so conforms, — 
There's no need for such transgression. 



ASSASSINATION 

COWARDLY DESTRUCTION, 

/^SSASSINATION'S a stealthy vice, 

Oft disguised by reputation, — 
Destroying character in a trice, 
And causing direful lamentation. 



CONSANGUINITY 

THE TIE THAT BINDS. 

'nr'HE same blood in another's veins 

Attractive harmony explains ; 
And when this fluid is made to boil, 
'Tis found the easiest kind to spoil. 
i6o 




ASSASSINATION. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONTEMPT 

PRAISING YOUR OWN VIRTUES. 

II F, with vanity distended, 

You show contempt and scorn, 
Honest pride is not offended, — 
Knowing it's better born. 

SUNSET 

WHEN YOUR GAS BILLS BEGIN. 

^HEN occupied with busy cares, 
A sunset's not attractive ; 
But longer hours and longer bills 
Make observation active. 



BRAINS 

MAN'S STEERING APPARATUS. 

^tT'HIS Steering gear, of life the guide, 
Prevents us drifting on the tide ; 
It is not birth, nor rank, nor state — 
But only brain that makes one great. 
i6i 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IMITATION 

A VIRTUE SADLY NEGLECTED. 

[IMITATION of the good you see 
Is Christianity's strongest plea; 
Even the beasts that God has created 
Have virtues that should be imitated. 



DISPLEASURE 

MENTAL DISAGREEMENT. 

IJF one could always have his way, 

He'd have everybody please him ; 
But others mostly have the say, 
Who are more disposed to tease him. 



NEWSPAPER 

AN ADVERTISING BUSINESS. 

"ir^O some degree it is educational, 

But oftener, now-a-days, sensational; — 
As its life on advertising depends. 
To power of money it readily bends. 
162 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ENVIRONMENT 

FORCED SURROUNDINGS. 

^tPHE finest seed, though carefully sown, 

Deprived of sun and rain, 
Becomes distorted ere it's grown, 
, And needs replanting again. 



KNOWLEDGE 

THE SOURCE OF POWER. 

"tPHE power that rules the world 

By knowledge, is divine ; 
The little we poor mortals have 
Does selfishly incline. 

IGNORANCE 

THE SOURCE OF FAILURE. 

[IGNORANCE is a heavy load, 

For any one to shoulder ; 
Pride and assurance carry it well. 
But only make it bolder, 
163 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PLEASURE 

CATERING TO NATURAL INSTINCTS. 

'tP'HERE'S a musical cadence in pleasure, 

That reaches its climax in song, 
It banishes care, in a measure, 
But it's sure to return before long. 



INTUITION 

A GENERALLY CORRECT, BUT ILLOGICAL IMPRESSION. 

^nr'HE question, how created ? 

Our logic will perplex, 
But not the intuition 
Of the gentler sex. 



PIN-MONEY 

ALL SURPLUS OVER NECESSITIES. 

'tFHE name indicates a modest demand, 

And formerly 'twas so implied ; 
It now requires all surplus in hand, 
And then you've not fully complied. 
164 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ANTICIPATION 

AWAITING FULFILLMENT. 

IpllORE pleasure is found in the waiting, 

Than in realization itself ; — 
An odd sort of logical reasoning — 
But you know how it is, yourself. 



CHIROGRAPHY 

THE INDEX OF CHARACTER. 

I^ AMBLING, swinging, bold and free 

Shows broad nature to a high degree ; 
Narrow, contracted, precise, and fine, 
Shows selfish character in every line. 

INTRIGUE 

A SECRET UNDERSTANDING. 

/^N intrigue guards, most carefully, 

Its every move and act — 
But some one's sure to be advised, 
And then, the public know the fact. 
^6s 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



GHOSTS 

PHANTOMS OF THE IMAGINATION. 

(fyi HOSTS are mostly everywhere found, 

Created by fear and distrust ; 
In wicked men's thoughts they abound, — 
The righteous abhor in disgust. 

INVENTORY 

WEIGHING ASSETS. 

W^HEN all your possessions are weighed, 

And they fail to balance the scale ; 
Be sure all your cards are played, — 
Don't publish the fact with a wail. 

MINER 

A CREATURE OF EXPECTATIONS. 

y^LWAYS prospecting and grubbing around — 

Expecting wealth from a hole in the ground; 
Possessed of secrets he's afraid to tell, — 
When he owns a mine, he's afraid to sell. 

i66 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COMPLAINT 

THE PASTIME OP THE IDLE. 

^iFHE idle are always complaining, 

They haven't enough to do ; 
Ask capital to do the sustaining, 
Then complain of capital, too. 



HOSPITAL 

MISFORTUNE'S NURSERY. 

(HINDER strict guard until well,— 

Iron beds and a drug-store smell ; — 
Fed from a tray by a uniformed nurse, — 
And yet one's condition might be much worse. 



TECHNICAL 

A DISPOSITION TO BE PUNCTILIOUS. 

CS^OME are so very precise 

They are always interrupting ; 
The habit is not considered nice, 
And is morally corrupting. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REFORMS 

A CHANGE OP METHODS. 

[REFORM'S the order of the day,- 
On every side they're prating ; 
Each individual wants his way, 
And trouble is creating. 



PHILANTHROPIST 

A PUBLIC BENEFACTOR. 

^ITH broad and liberal views, 
With charity and urbanity, 
Makes human frailty his excuse 
For succoring humanity. 



DETECTIVE 

A CONNOISSEUR OP CRIME. 

(Prime by him being constantly hunted, 
His sensibility soon becomes blunted ; 
His virtues are held in such restraint. 
His vices are subject of much complaint. 
i68 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HOSTILITY 

CARRYING CONCEALED WEAPONS. 

OT alone in self protection, 
But with inimical intent, 
He carries hidden weapons 

For fear of insults never meant. 



EVIDENCE 

THE TRUTH OF CONVICTION. 

i^ DECLARATION made and sworn 

Is testimony of highest form, — 
While evidence without an oath 
Oft in prejudice has growth. 

* 
PAWN BROKER 

A CREATURE OF NECESSITY. 

^HILE interest is out of proportion, 
And larger than law condones. 
These creatures of sinful extortion 
Do much good through little loans. 
i6g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONSERVATISM 

TIMIDITY OP SUSPICION. 

jMATURE protects a certain class 

Through a kind of suspicious dread ; 
Often called by the common mass 
Conservatism, instead. 



INTIMACY 

A DANGEROUS ALLIANCE. 

[INTIMACY is much like glass, 

And quite as easily shattered; 
Most of the secrets you let pass 
Are then to the four winds scattered. 

TRAMP 

A "HAPPY-GO-LUCKY" WANDERER. 

W^HETHER in country lanes he's found, 

Or tramping the city for food ; 
His disposition's the same all round — 
Of a lazy, rollicking mood. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DENIAL 

GETTING RID OF RESPONSIBILITY. 

I^ESPONSIBILITY should weigh lightly- 

Some are eager to maintain ; 
But when facts are grounded rightly, 
Responsibility will remain. 

UNDERTAKER 

THE LAST TO LEAVE YOU. 

^tPHE man of most sepulchral mien, 

Who furnishes your hearse, 
As chief est mourner would be seen ; — 
'Tis thus he fills his purse. 

ELECTRICITY 

A PRIMARY ELEMENT. 

Ip"ORCE is electricity, heat, and light, — 
And "matter's" the center of force; 
If this does not explain it quite. 
You'll reason it out, of course. 
iji 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EXAGGERATION 

STRETCHING THE TRUTH. 

■tFRUTH is like a rubber band,— 

Too much stretching it will not stand ; 
It allows elaboration, 
But repels exaggeration. 



EVASION 

DODGING THE QUESTION. 

II N disclaiming responsibility. 

One either evades or denies ; 
Both are dodging subterfuges, 
That all men ought to despise. 

A LANDLORD 

THE MAN TO WHOM YOU ARE ALWAYS IN DEBT. 

/^ LANDLORD is never popular 
Unless he's always repairing ; 
He's expected to be pleasant and jocular 
While his tenant is always despairing. 

1^2 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



WRECKED 

TAKING A HEADER. 

jMjOW often plans fall to the ground, 
No matter how well constructed! 
Sad failures everywhere abound, — 
One's own way is oft obstructed. 



RAILROAD MAN 

ONE WHOSE VANITY IS PART COMPENSATION. 

I^AILROADING has a special charm; 
One takes risks, but fears no harm ; 
In high favor with a certain class 
Who love his power to issue a pass. 

OBSERVATION 

A PRACTICAL MEANS OF EDUCATION. 

^iPHE sensitized plates of the brain 
Receive and record all things ; 
A mental photography which makes plain, 
Impressions observation brings. 

173 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OBLIGATION 

ENFORCED HONESTY. 

MONESTY enforced is dangerous,— 

In itself, a prompter of wrong ; 
The bond is apt to be broken 
If the urging is too strong. 



OPINIONS 

MORE COMMON AND LESS VALUABLE THAN ADVICE. 

/fj\PINIONS are much like feathers. 

Swayed by every breath ; 
In some, they flatter vanity 
Till it struts itself to death. 

SPECTACLES 

A REWARD OP MERIT. 

WnnEN the lens is slightly worn, 

It's no occasion then to mourn ; 
Modern science makes it plain 
Through spectacles you see again. 

174 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



LIFE 

THAT PRINCIPLE WHICH CONNECTS THE SOUL WITH THE 

BODY. 

11 IFE is only borrowed at best, — 

The debt is paid when we're at rest ; 
The interest on this mighty loan 
Is paid by yielding the soul, alone. 



CHESS 

A MILITARY GAME OP SKILL. 

'tPHE oldest game on record, this, — 

Despised by womankind ; 
But man plays on in selfish bliss, 
And thus improves his mind. 

$ 
ESTIMATION 

A VERDICT OP JUDGMENT. 

jjF the verdict's not carelessly rendered, 

It will prove a most useful guide ; 
If sincerity has not been tendered, 
A counterfeit judgment's applied. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ASSESSMENT 

A MOST DIFFICULT THING TO TRACE. 

^ASSESSMENTS are demands 

For money, where most needed ; 
It is a power that shows its hands, 
And its call is usually heeded. 

* 
HONOR 

A STANDARD, OR VALUE, OP DISTINCTION FIXED BY COM- 
MON CONSENT. 

'ir'HE hero scarred in many battles. 

Is not greater in his worth 
Than the simple country maiden 
By the fireside, on the hearth. 



DISGRUNTLED 

SIDE-TRACKED IN IMAGINATION. 

{|F, instead of a clear right of way. 

He's on a side-track left, — 
He questions the right of such delay, 
And of reason seems bereft. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



JUSTIFICATION 

AN ASSEMBLAGE OF PROOF. 

W|^HILE the preparing of defense 

Is oft attended with much expense, — 
It's a great satisfaction, after all. 
To measure the depth of your enemy's fall. 



DEVIATION 

BLAZING A NEW ROAD. 

II N following ancient modes, 

One often is mistaken ; 
By blazing out new roads, 
A shorter cut is taken. 



CONFIRMATION 

OFFICIAL VERIFICATION. 

/f^FTTIMES confidence is lacking, 
Unless it has official backing ; 
When at last pronounced complete. 
One's thrice equipped against defeat. 
777 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



QUALIFICATION 

FITNESS FOR POSITION. 

ITF qualification was always sought, 

A higher average would be wrought; 
When favoritism 'gainst worth is pitted, 
The survivor's not always the one most fitted. 

CLASSIFICATION 

ARRANGING IN REGULAR ORDER. 

'tF'HE trouble is in dividing classes, — 

There's no provision made for asses ; 
Allowed to wander about and bray, 
They're always obstructing others' way. 

CONDEMNATION 

THE WEAPON OF REPROVAL. 

I^EPROVAL, when asserting force. 

Uses language sometimes coarse, — 
Which often makes one quite refractive ; — 
Sweetened words are more attractive. 
J78 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EQUALITY 

EQUAL ENJOYMENT OF PRIVILEGE. 

EQUALITY can only exist in degree, — 

Pertaining' alone to privilege free ; 
In education the difference is found, — 
Water flows ever to level ground. 

ARTIFICIAL 

IMITATION OF THE NATURAL. 

i^LL nature's imitated more or less, — 

Not only in substance but also in dress ; 
One scarcely knows in what to believe, — 
The world's so successful in tricks to deceive. 

FICTION 

THE ROMANCE OF IMAGINATION. 

'tF'HE mysteries of the human mind 

Are only fathomed by their kind ; 
Through different glasses they're displayed — 
Fact and fiction are always arrayed. 
/79 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INDIFFERENCE 

BLUNTED SENSIBILITY. 

[TNDIFFERENCE is not always shown 

To finer sentiment alone; 
It's often found mid doubt and care, 
In a sort of " Devil may take it " air. 



AUTHORITY 

THE WEAPON OF POWER. 

p?OWER points out the way, 

And keeps the world in action ; 
Whatever doth the cause delay, 
Authority resents infraction. 

TEMPER 

A VIRTUE RUINED WHEN LOST. 

W^HEN not possessed of sternness, 

Temper indicates one's firmness ; 
Its value is more clearly shown. 
When under pressure it has flown. 

i8o 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HEARTLESSNESS 

THE CRUELTY OF INDIFFERENCE. 

P'EREFT of all affection, 

Friendship never grows; 
Save in selfish recollection, 

Friends are like their worn out clothes. 



VIRAGO 

ONE WHO CRITICISES EVERYONE'S FAULTS BUT HER OWN. 

^ITH eyes of hawk, 
And tongue of steel, 
She can always talk, 
But can never feel. 



CRUELTY 

SAVAGE PROPENSITIES. 

^tPHE term is not alone applied 

To punishment that's physical 
Other forms are here implied, 
If disposed to be too quizzical. 
i8i 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REFINEMENT 

THE PRODUCT OP EDUCATION. 

'nr'HE effect of education on the brain 

Is not to overcrowd the mind, and strain ; 
Moderation and toleration here combine, 
To sift the mixture, and the good refine. 

JEWELRY 

A SUGGESTION OP BARBARISM. 

IJNSTEAD of rings worn in the nose, 
Around the ankles or on the toes. 
Modern society does insist 
They be worn in the ears and on the wrist. 



BRIBERY 

VENAL CORRUPTION. 

IJF the rich to power aspire, 

They oft combine cash with desire ; 
Familiar with the force that bends, 
Bribery's used to further their ends. 
182 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EDITOR 

ONE WHO MOULDS PUBLIC OPINION. 

II N his writings there's a trace 

Of knowledge and ability shown ; 
Or else he is writing to fill up space,- 
Then, of course, he's rarely known. 



WHISKY 

THE ENERGY OF WEAKNESS. 

W^HISKY — this I must insist on — 

Acts on man like rod and piston ; 
Driving him with so much force, 
He's bound to leave the track, of course. 

HABIT 

A FIXED PECULIARITY. 

TOHEN habit is once formed. 
Excuses give it strength ; 
Weakness, more or less deformed. 
Will soon define its length. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



GLAMOUR 

THE SHADING TO PUBLIC OPINION. 

{IN glamour, vanity's also displayed ; 

Some love to revel in its shade ; — 
But public opinion is so unfair, 
One's often lost who lingers there. 

FAITHLESSNESS 

TRAMPLING OF CHARACTER. 

(PAN you look into the eyes of your wife, 

Knowing she's given to you her life. 
And swear you never did her a wrong, 
As through the world you've wandered along? 



FAITHFULNESS 

SUPPORTING CHARACTER. 

CHARACTER needs a faithful support. 

To keep it through good and evil report ; 
Faithfulness comes through love or fear, 
And is often stronger than does appear. 
184 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CHARACTER 

THE EMBODIMENT OF VIRTUE. 

CHARACTER holds a trust divine- 
To degrade it, is a heinous crime ; 
It's often left without defense, 
Which makes the crime a worse offense. 



CANDOR 

THE HOME OF TRUTH. 

^ANDOR'S a virtue easily known,— 

It bears all the marks of truth ; 
Its absence is always clearly shown, 
And your statements are questioned, forsooth. 



ANXIETY 

THE INHERITANCE OP MAN. 

T'S always round and about, — 
Impossible to drive out ; 
On getting up, and on going to bed. 
Clings as close as the hair on your head. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CARELESSNESS 

AN INEXCUSABLE NEGLECT. 

^ARELESSNESS is a crime 

When involving rights of another ; 
But there is often a time 
When it helps your own trouble to smother. 

DYSPEPTIC 

A VICTIM OP MELANCHOLIA. 

IJNFLUENCED by internal gases, 

He sees all things through colored glasses; 
The world, even if all is right, 
To him is never clear and bright. 



PAUPER 

A FINANCIAL DEGENERATE. 

CS TRIPPED at last of every coin,— 

A ghost of the former great, — 
Society, eager to enjoin, 
Kicks him from their gate. 
180 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IMPETUOSITY 

THE HAIR-TRIGGER OP NERVOUS FORCE. 

||=|jE'S always to the muzzle loaded, 

And he goes off half cocked ; 
But only when by passion goaded, 
Is his magazine unlocked. 



RESTITUTION 

THE EVIDENCE OP CONSCIENCE. 

S CONSCIENCE, when not too contracted, 

Complies with that which is exacted ; 
The world applauds the noble fact ; — 
Considering the age, 'tis a wondrous act. 

CIRCULATION 

THE BASIS OP LIPE. 

S CIRCULATION of news and press,— 

A circulation of jewels and dress, — 
A circulation of money and blood, — 
All engulfed in mortality's flood. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



COLD FEET 

THE NIGHTMARE OF APPREHENSION. 

OTH ETHER the chill's from the cold damp ground, 
Or from under a table where "chips" are found, 
Or your wife's cold feet at your back in bed, — 
In every case they're a cause of dread. 

* 
EXPERIENCE 

WOUNDS ONE IS CONSTANTLY DRESSING. 

pXPERIENCE one's beauty mars, 

And covers him with ugly scars ; 
But then he sees with other eyes, 
And ugly marks will not despise. 



SHOPPING 

THE PASTIME OF THE IDLE. 

(WATERED to by every store,— 
It assists them to advertise ; 
Display creates temptation sore, 
And "shoppers" are not all wise. 
i88 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



NERVOUS PROSTRATION 

AN EXPLANATION OF FAILURE. 

I/^AN is slow to learn his strength 

When engaging in business strife ; 
He does too much, and then at length 
Wrecks himself in prime of life. 



INFORMATION 

THE PATH TO KNOWLEDGE. 

'ir'HE path is oft' found a crooked one ; 

Though far you've traveled, you've just begun; 
Seeking it still on his dying bed, 
Man continues to gain it after he's dead. 

LIVER COMPLAINT 

THE GATEWAY OP QUACKERY. 

'ir'HE patient's weakness lies in dread ; 
The doctor's is mostly in his head; 
To hold the case within restraint, 
He magnifies this liver complaint. 
i8g 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INSINUATION 

THE WEAPON OP COWARDICE. 

'nr'OO great a coward for open fight, 

Through insinuation he vents his spite; 
He thinks through lying to deceive ; — 
If done adroitly, others believe. 

FACTS 

THE CORNER STONE IN HISTORY. 

i^N imperishable structure 

Could only be built on facts ; 
And if they are misstated, — 
The structure stability lacks. 



OPPRESSION 

BULLYING THE WEAK. 

OT an attribute of the strong, 

Nor, alone, an evidence you're in the wrong ; 
It often conies through want of discretion, 
Which paves the way for dire oppression. 

igo 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



AGGRESSION 

POACHING ON YOUR NEIGHBOR'S PRESERVES. 

Ip^EN pile riches mountain high, — 

Then call attention to the view ; 
It is not strange, through poverty's cry. 
Aggression is rampant with a few. 

± 
PRIVILEGE 

THE RIGHT OF DISCOVERY AND POSSESSION. 

IpTlAN'S highest ambition is to create, — 
His inclinations are all to the great; 
Privilege gives him the right to build, 
If in the sciences he be skilled. 



A HUSBAND 

ONE WHO MAKES A LEGAL CONTRACT TO ASSUME 
UNKNOWN LIABILITIES. 

W^ITHIN us all a tender chord 

Vibrates responsive when her eyes, 
To make him blest, proclaim him lord. 
And make of earth a paradise. 

igi 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



REMINISCENCES 

EXAMINING THE ARCHIVES. 

y^ DOUBTFUL pleasure, this looking back, 

And digging up records of pen ; 
The principal contents of the pack 
Only suggest what might have been. 



SMOKE 

THE END OP MOST GOOD RESOLUTIONS. 

jOOD resolutions, like good cigars, 
Are interesting while they last ; ■ 
Alike, both better keep in jars, 
And are not likely to be passed. 



TELEGRAM 

AN ELECTRIC AGITATOR. 

IpLECTRICITY is so very rapid. 
And brings the world so near. 
That consciousness is never vapid. 
When telegrams appear. 

ig2 




SMOKE. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RESIGNATION 

USUALLY A NECESSITY. 

'tt'O be resigned, or to resign, — 

Both are expressions of force ; 
Antagonism is not benign, 
When one's compelled, of course. 

EXPERIMENT 

PISHING WITH NEW BAIT. 

jNE who is fond of fishing. 

Is ever trying something new ; 
For other bait he's always wishing, 
Even if the old would do. 



SANCTITY 

RELIGIOUS DEVOTION. 

^ANCTITY is often pretended, 

When one desires to deceive ; 
No sacrilege may be intended. 
But pretense often makes one believe. 

^9S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MANUFACTURER 

THE BULWARK OF COMMERCE. 

/^ SUCCESSFUL manufacturer 

Is one who can compete 
With all the world in quality, 
And can all their prices meet, 

A GUEST 

ONE WHO TAXES, IF NOT CRITICISES, YOUR HOSPITALITY. 

/^LWAYS room for the welcome guest; — 

To entertain, one is rather proud ; 
But criticism of one's very best 
Makes a single guest appear a crowd. 

OSCULATION 

NATURE'S PEACEMAKER. 

"iFO love or affection best express, 

A kiss is always the sweetest caress; 
It soothes the soul in its upward flight, 
And fills the eyes with sparkling light. 

ig4 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



GRATITUDE 

THE LOYALTY OP KINDNESS. 

^HEN'ER you've done a helpful deed, — 
Relieved distress, befriended need, — 
In gratitude you've sown a seed 
That grows a perfect flower. 

AGITATION 

A PROFITABLE BUSINESS. 

y^N agitator mostly fattens 

On feuds and factions — struggles grim: 
What cares he what evil happens, 
If it does not happen to him ? 



PREJUDICE 

THE BIAS OF OPINION. 

[j^ERHAPS through gossip you have heard 
Of something queer that has occurred, — 
You form opinions quite untrue ; — 
Suppose the injured one were you ? 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



HEROINE 

EVERY GOOD WOMAN. 

OMEN are braver than men, — 
In hardship make less complaint ; 
Their patience and will-power endure 
What would cause strongest men to faint. 



VILLAIN 

ONE WITHOUT CONSCIENCE. 

^ITH turpitude he's filled within, 

Where his conscience should have been ; 
He knows no law, either civil or moral, — 
With all mankind he has a quarrel. 

PATHOS 

THE LANGUAGE OF MISFORTUNE. 

/^ LANGUAGE easily understood 

Even in the brute creation ; 
A strong appeal to all that's good 
In a man or in a nation. 
1^6 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TRAGEDIAN 

A PATHETIC DELINEATOR. 

II N acting well his tragic part, 

He sways emotions of the heart ; — 
Fills with passion, rends with fears, — 
Then drowns them out in joyful tears. 



COMEDIAN 

AN AMUSING DELINEATOR. 

IpjIIS sole endeavor is to amuse, 
His success marks his worth 
Criticise him if you choose, 
He still provokes your mirth. 



RESTRICTION 

THE COMMAND OF AUTHORITY 

N enforcing restriction 

One is influenced by conviction ; 
Authority upheld by facts. 
Rightfully limits personal acts. 
ig7 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



IMBROGLIO 

A COMPLICATION EASY TO FIND AND HARD TO LOSE. 

/QUARRELS result from contention, 

With bitterness sadly imbued ; 
The use of "an ounce of prevention" 
Will frequently stifle a feud. 

CREED 

SECULAR RESTRICTION. 

HILE good in creed is always found, 
Secular things are a bit hide-bound ; 
Self-satisfaction is plainly shown, 
While goodness in others they disown. 

PROFICIENCY 

THE RESULT OP APPLICATION. 

i^PPLICATION will make perfected 

Any subject well selected ; 
Proficiency must prove the test, 
By choosing leadership the best. 
ig8 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INSULT 

AN INTERPRETATION OFTEN MISCONSTRUED. 

IJNSULT in interpretation's found 

Often without sufficient ground ; — 
It's frequently cause for great surprise 
To see one's angry passions rise. 



REBUKE 

THE AUTHORITY OP POWER. 

I^EBUKES are always offensive, — 
They put one on the defensive ; 
They frequently spoil a growing child, 
Unless they are made in a manner mild. 



CHEWING GUM 

ADVERTISING SIMPLICITY. 

<SOME are imbued with the strong belief, 
That from indigestion it brings relief; 
Yet chewing gum is but advertising 
A degree of ignorance quite surprising. 

igq 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



JOURNALISM 

THE PUBLIC EDUCATOR. 

WJJ Hl'L'E a very defective medium, yet 

The public are asked to forgive and forget 
The past is buried by hope expectant, 
While tolerance serves as a disinfectant. 

SATISFACTION 

A COMPENSATION FOR ANXIETY. 

/^NXIETY often with patience rides, 

In going the ways that nature provides ; 
While satisfaction comes close in the rear, 
And brings compensation to anxious fear. 

$ 
PREMONITION 

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL FORCE OF IMAGINATION. 

I] M AGINATION with slight incentive, 
Is not infrequently quite inventive ; 
The psychic force of premonition 
Should be defined as intuition. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



RECIPROCITY 

THE BASIS OP PERMANENT SUCCESS. 

Ip^UTUAL good should always accrue 

From transactions when concluded ; 
Unto others do as they should to you, 
Is the rule to be included. 

* 

MIDDLEMAN 

THE CROSSROADS OF INDUSTRY. 

jpjERE the buyer and seller meet, — 

One brings, the other takes ; 
The middleman has his conceit 
In the profit on both he makes. 



CHEERFULNESS 

THE INSPIRATION OP SATISFACTION. 

CS ATISFACTION springs from conscious right, 

And is always recognized at sight ; — 
Cheerfulness is more assertive, 
And in its power is more convertive. 

20I 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



GARRULOUSNESS 

THE VANITY OF OLD AGE. 

IpEELING hurt at others' neglect, 

In their endeavor to enforce respect; 
They deal in theories so unsound 
That only garrulous vaporing's found. 



HAPPINESS 

A TRANSIENT BLESSING. 

MAPPINESS doth most abound, 
In the young, of body sound ; 
In later life, when care oppresses, 
The happiness of others blesses. 

BURDENS 

THE TROUBLES OF OTHERS. 

I^ACH one has troubles enough of his own 
To keep from seeking others unknown ; 
It's dreadfully tiresome to be held up 
And drink forced sorrow from another's cup. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CAMPAIGN 

THE EFFORT OF ORGANIZATION. 

/^ CAMPAIGN under fit direction, 

Strong in purpose and discretion, 
Can force its way to any length, 
And as it travels, gather strength. 

SCULPTURE 

THE ART OF REPRODUCTION IN FORM. 

0{ THING of beauty in every trace, 

In form and feature and classic grace,- 
Embodiment of highest art, — 
Marble endowed with soul and heart. 

DIFFICULTIES 

THE UNEVENNESS OF PROGRESS. 

IjN accomplishing a purpose great. 

One is controlled by law of fate ; 
Difficulties are interposed 
That alter plans as first proposed. 

20J 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MONOPOLIES 

EXCLUSIVE OWNERSHIP. 

W^HILE sole ownership is eagerly sought, 

For the power and wealth it produces, - 
Monopoly great dissatisfaction has wrought. 
Through failure to banish abuses. 



HAIR 

NATURE'S CLOTHING. 

R^ATURE, more clearly to express 
The necessity for a little dress, 
Has made the hair of varied hue, 
And placed it in the fullest view. 



INSPECTION 

THE CRITICISM OP CURIOSITY. 

'tPHE criticism of inspection 

Makes a standard of perfection ; - 
Curiosity searches more for cause 
To prove detraction through its flaws. 
204 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SKELETON 

THE FRAMEWORK OP DISAPPOINTMENT. 

^KELETON is often well applied 

To secrets one's disposed to hide ; — 
It is the framework stripped of dress, 
Of disappointments which distress. 

RETROSPECTION 

A COMPENvSATION FOR FAILURE. 

^HEN things have failed to go just right, 
There's compensation in one's hind-sight ; 
Pleasures long passed are lived again. 
And the present's sting is robbed of pain. 

INOCULATION 

CHANGING THE CHEMISTRY OF NATURE. 

/j^FTEN through force of subtle thought, 

Inoculation of the mind is wrought ; 
Science transfers blood at will 
In hope of preventing contagious ill. 

20S 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PATIENCE 

THE WISDOM OF ENDURANCE. 

II N patience wisdom is oft concealed, 

And through endurance at last revealed ; 
The highest type of wise expression 
Is found in suffering dire oppression. 

ENTERTAINMENTS 

THE CORNER STONE OP SOCIETY. 

C^OCIAL resources, if well defined. 

Are entertainments of varied kind ; 
These gatherings, gay or intellectual, 
Give life a zest almost perpetual. 



INJUNCTION 

THE EMPHASIS OF POWER. 

|r7?0WER must be complete and strong 

When mandatory against the wrong; 
Injunction always makes delay 
Till both contestants have their say. 
206 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



VITUPERATION 

OFTEN AN EXPRESSION OF JEALOUSY. 

MITUPERATIVE language is often heard 

From those with whom you've never conferred ; 
The reason (but one they will never confess) 
Is because they are jealous of your success. 



PERSPICUITY 

QUICK INTERPRETATION. 

(S^OME seem to have the power or gift, 

The veil of the future to readily lift ; 
Their perspicuity is sufficient 
To assist "Occultism" when deficient. 

* 
SCHEMER 

ONE WHO PREYS ON HUMAN NATURE. 

|p=ijE preys' on the weakness of some, 

While his own is adroitly concealed ; 
Scheming to gather them "under his thumb," 
Then his sinister plans are revealed. 

2&J 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OBSTACLES 

THE HINDRANCE TO SUCCESS. 

/fj\BSTACLES often delay success, 

And are always suggestive of trouble ; 
But patience and energy more or less 
Will prick them like a bubble. 

RESENTMENT 

INFLAMMATION FROM THE STING IN THE WOUND. 

^TT^HE size of the sting is not in dispute; 
The smallest is often the most acute ; 
It's the way it was done, the degree of skill, 
That makes one mad enough to kill. 



INTRODUCTION 

ASSISTING IDENTIFICATION. 

IpjIUMAN beings so closely resemble , 
When in masses they do assemble, 
That forms and faces seem to combine — 
Introduction assists one to define. 
208 




RESENTMENT. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CEREMONIES 

THE PARAPHERNALIA OF CUSTOM. 

^tFHE ceremonial display- 
Is oft impressive in its way ; 
It keeps the mind fixed on the thought,- 
While dignity and worth are taught. 



THREAT 

THE WEAPON OF A COWARD. 

If^ATURAL cowardice to offset 

Finds expression in ugly threat ; 
Only a method of venting spite — 
A barking dog will rarely bite. 

* 

NEW WOMAN 

A PRODUCT OF OVER-INDULGENCE. 

■tPHIS companion of man, 

Not content with her sphere, 
Has assumed all his virtues, 
His habits, and gear. 

2og 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONCEALMENT 

THE PROMPTINGS OF FEAR. 

NE'S own weakness he tries to hide ; 
But, through a sort of conscious pride, 
He poses as something which he is not, 
And calls attention to his weakest spot. 

FORTUNE 

AN ESTIMATION OF VALUE. 

/^ COBBLER dreamt he was king all night. 

The king dreamt he a cobbler became ; — 
The fortune lay in judging aright, 
For division of time was exactly the same. 



LIBRARIAN 

AN INDEX OF LEARNING. 

jIT'S not the contents of a book that he knows, 

But only the place on the shelf where it goes ; 
A librarian, while in his memory perfected, 
Has often his general learning neglected. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DESTINY 

THE LIMIT OP MAN'S INFLUENCE. 

W/I'HERE leads destiny, no one knows — 
It's only the past that ever shows ; 
Breathing a life out, never sought, — 
A living experience dearly bought. 

* 
PERaUISITE 

THE SALVAGE OF RECOVERY. 

PERQUISITES have a strong attraction, 
And are often found in sly extraction; 
A conscience contracted to suit the case 
Will often throw "salvage" in honesty's face. 

RESTRAINT 

THE CLOAK OF AUTHORITY. 

[RESTRAINT is considered irksome, 

When we are the ones in duress, — 
But if one could restrain his foeman, 
'Twould be voted a great success. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONSULTATION 

THE REFUGE OF DELIBERATION. 

IJN consultation, one may find 

Some relief and peace of mind; 
But, before a final verdict passes, 
Be sure you've not co-worked with asses. 



ANOMALY 

A DISTINCTIVE TYPE. 

/^N anomaly, a freak is often known, 

Or one o'erwrought in special feature ; 
Distinctive thought, when to passion grown. 
Produces an anomalous creature. 

PENSION 

THE REWARD OF LOYALTY. 

^HEN a life is given in service, 

And misfortune has humbled pride. 
Pension rewards a noble virtue. 
Which the world would cast aside. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SACRIFICE 

A SURRENDER OF VALUE, 

/^ MAN will rarely a sacrifice make, 

While a woman gives up her all ; — 
Man's always hunting something to take, 
While the woman gets nothing at all. 

BARGAIN 

THE APPEAL OF AVARICE. 

"tPO save, to pinch, and beat in price. 

Make up the sin of avarice ; 
Though a bargain is often a story told. 
Of exchanging principles for gold. 



DEDICATION 

SPECIFIC CONSECRATION. 

OT always alone a religious act, 
But a certain form of business tact ; 
Consecration is a gift of love. 
Inspired by motives from above. 
213 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ELOCUTION 

THE ART OP RENDITION. 

/^ DRAMATIC tendency wherever found, 

Measured by elocutionary sound. 
Rendering and ranting are not the same, — 
In the latter, vanity is much to blame. 

* 
INVESTMENT 

PROVIDING FOR THE FUTURE. 

]]N VESTMENT is protector to the wise, 

But also is the fool's destroyer ; 

The little savings which some despise, 

Oft change employe to employer. 

* 
PROGRAM 

THE INTRODUCTION OP ANTICIPATION. 

'ir'HE pleasure of anticipation 

In a program is well portrayed ; 
Through freaks of imagination. 

All the parts in advance are played. 

214 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



DISCORD 

THE JARRING OF POWER. 

'tt'HE volume of power as it moves, 

Is not confined to certain grooves ; 
The points of discord show its strength, — 
Define its course in breadth and length. 



COMPETITION 

MEASURING ABILITY AND RESOURCE. 

W|^HILE competition is the life of trade, 

It also kills if improperly made ; — 
Trade is improved through strife to excel, 
But is ruined by effort to undersell. 

COMBINATIONS 

MULTIPLYING THE FORCE OF POWER. 

0[S though 'twere not enough in each. 

Through combination they try to teach 
A lesson of power, with danger fraught, 
Through misunderstanding of conditions wrought. 

2IS 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PACIFICATION 

THE STRENGTH OF HARMONY. 

jIN unity there is strength, 
Unlimited in its length ; 
Pacification makes it plain, 
How harmony begins again. 

PEACEMAKER 

A SELF-CONSTITUTED ADJUSTER. 

mnUEN fully fitted to do the work, 

No christian will the duty shirk ; 
But he who is not well equipped, 
For his pains is often whipped. 



REVIEWING 

SEEKING FLAWS. 

T does not always help the cause 

To criticise and show the flaws ; 

Reviewing, when done in spirit fair, 

Brings out what little good is there. 

216 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



SCHOOLS 

THE PROMOTERS OF WISDOM. 

^ERE it not for the lessons learned at school, 
Man would be a mechanic without a tool ; 
Through schools the principles in home life taught, 
Are to perfection and usefulness wrought. 



STUDENT 

A PLASTIC RAW MATERIAL. 

/^ STUDENT is much like potter's clay,- 

He can be molded most any way ; 
But if the raw material diminish, 
A crack in firing will mar the finish. 

DISCOURSE 

PROMULGATING FACT. 

/^ DISCOURSE appertains to success, 

In a sort of logical reasoning ; 
To those who appreciate, more or less, 
'Tis effective with proper seasoning. 
2iy 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PUNISHMENT 

THE FEAR OP EVIL-DOERS. 

p?UNISHMENT is made for correction, 

But is woefully misapplied ; 
The crime lies more in reflection, 
That power oft punishes pride. 

MISFORTUNE 

THE REWARD OP OVER-CONPIDENCE. 

Ip^ISFORTUNE knocks at every door, 

And is not easily driven away; 
It fills your life, and runs it o'er. 
If indolence bids it stay. 

CONVIVIALITY 

FREQUENT CAUSE OF INTEMPERANCE. 

CONVIVIALITY will in time, 

The strongest structure undermine ; 
In moral strength one loses force, — 
Then all that's bad runs to remorse. 
218 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



APOLOGY 

THE SATISFACTION OF MISUNDERSTANDING. 

li^ISUNDERSTANDING in any form, 

Arouses passion, and keeps it warm ; 
Apology, with full retraction, 
Dissipates it in satisfaction. 



FRANCHISE 

THE SPOILS OP POLITICS. 

'ir'HE power of a body to grant a right. 

Leads to corruption in party fight ; 
Conscience through franchise is requited, — 
Decency shunned, and character slighted. 

* 
ARTLESSNESS 

THE IGNORANCE OF INNOCENCE. 

TOHENEVER innocence is found, 

The world accords it high respect ; 
When ignorance also doth abound, 
Artlessness will not suspect. 

2ig 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ASSERTION 

AN EVIDENCE OP RESPONSIBILITY. 

'tt'HIS definition is only in name, 

As responsibility is never the same ; 
Assertions are often lightly made, 
By those whose morals are badly frayed. 



IMPERSONATION 

A FORGERY OF CHARACTER. 

/^ CRIMINAL action quite the same 
As a forgery of another's name, — 
An impersonator will be respected 
Until his identity is suspected. 



LEGALITY 

THE SANCTION OF AUTHORITY. 

II EGALITY is a word in great misuse, 

As authority often sanctions abuse, 
Because one thinks he has this right, 
Is a poor excuse for showing fight. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



ANTiaUARIAN 

A LITERARY RAGPICKER. 

(S^EARCHING ever through ancient dirt, 
To find a treasure he's keenly alert ; 
And when a bit of worth is found, 
In happiness he doth abound. 



ACaUAINTANCE 

ONE WHOSE IDENTIFICATION IS FIXED. 

[pIAVING but met him once or twice, 
You've formed opinions in a trice ; 
Unless his virtues are overrated, 
A friend through acquaintance is created. 

CREDIBILITY - 

THE CHARACTER OF TRUTH. 

^RUTH betrays its hiding place, 
In manner easy of detection ; 
One descries it in the face — 
Credibility is truth's reflection. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MENU 

THE LIMIT OF GASTRONOMIC ABILITY. 

II F one could blindly have his way, 

And was not always forced to pay, — 
He'd have the " menu " of a king — 
No matter what distress 'twould bring. 

SUPREMACY 

THE ASPIRATION OF DESIRE. 

^HEN supremacy is in command, 
Stern force is also near at hand ; — 
To hold its power against desire, 
In others who perhaps aspire. 

RETICENCE 

THE LESSON OF EXPERIENCE. 

/^ VICTIM of unhappy thought, 

Through lessons by experience taught. 
Is oft inclined the fact to spread — 
But reticence serves him best instead. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



NEGOTIATION 

PRELIMINARY MEASURES. 

JI^EGOTIATIONS determine the prize;— . 

And when it is of considerable size, 
While requiring more effort and combination, 
It is followed by keener appreciation. 



TOBACCO 

THE ESCAPE VALVE OF NERVOUS FORCE. 

II N calming highly excited nerves, 

Some little credit it deserves; 
But a tobacco habit, when excessive. 
In exciting nerves is quite aggressive. 



CURIOSITY 

THE PREDOMINATING TRAIT IN HUMAN NATURE. 

i^ TRAIT peculiar to all mankind. 

And uppermost in a woman's mind ; 
With man, curiosity is prone to guess, — 
With woman it's mostly confined to dress. 

233 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



BIOGRAPHY 

THE PUBLIC RECORD OF LIFE. 

^ir'HE publication of life's history, 
Oft reveals a tragic mystery ; 
Which, when known, the whole is spurned ; — 
Such a biography were better burned. 

* 
ATHLETE 

ONE WHO TAKES MEDALS WITH HIS HEELS. 

/^ MEDAL'S a medal, however won, — 

Athletic brawn aids brains ; 
The student who gives his health a run, 
Reaps wisdom for his pains. 

± 
ENDURANCE 

THE LIMIT OF CAPACITY. 

If^AN shows a wonderful endurance. 

When of final relief he has assurance 
But woman's endurance is past belief, — 
More shame, she's the last to ask relief. 
224 




ATHLETE. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PROVERBS 

ILLUMINATED TRUTHS. 



"tFRUTH, in commonplace affairs, 

Exposes weakness, then repairs ; ■ 
But proverbs throw a steady light 
Along life's path, and guide us right. 



INTELLIGENCE 

THE DEGREE OP MENTAL COMPREHENSION. 

[INTELLIGENCE of an animal kind 

Is found in all creation, — 
But the higher degree, you'll only find, 
Is the product of education. 

CHAMPION 

THE LEADER OP DEPENSE. 

II N espousing a cause for man's defense. 

Enthusiasm may blunt one's sense ; 
The champion, willing to stake his all, 
Will "win in a walk," if he wins at all. 

22^ 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONTRIBUTION 

OFTEN AN ENFORCED TRIBUTE. 

/^ CONTRIBUTION for humanity's sake, 

Of a kindly nature doth oft partake ; 
But, when one's been unjustly taxed, 
Profanity is sometimes relaxed. 



SCRUTINY 

THE WEAPON OF SUSPICION. 

SUSPICION is at once applied 

Where confidence has been denied ; 
Credulity promotes deceit. 
While scrutiny destroys conceit. 



CLIENT 

A UNIVERSAL PATRON. 

O matter from whence he comes. 
His cause is always your own ; 
You assume the closest friendship, 
And every kindness is shown. 
226 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



PETITION 

CALAMITY'S WAIL. 

p'ETITIONS suggest oppression, 
Or mismanagement of things ; 
If too strong for suppression, 
They divide in cliques and rings. 

% 
MENACE 

THE SHADOW OF DANGER. 

)|^AN is often found so blind, 

He can't see danger of any kind ; 
But menace hovers round his head, 
Producing an apprehensive dread. 

IMPECUNIOSITY 

A VERY PREVALENT MISFORTUNE. 

I^USTLING around in attempts to borrow, 
Always promising to pay "to-morrow"; 
Misfortune, all are compelled to endure,— 
Conditions are few that money won't cure. 

22J 



SENSE AND SAtlRfi. 



PATIENT 

A MOST WILLING SUBJECT. 

/J^FTEN a victim of his own conceit, 

Through recklessness he meets defeat ; — 
Nature, to teach him a lesson mild, 
Through illness makes of a man a child. 

* 

MORALS 

THE STANDARD OF RIGHTEOUSNESS. 

^HEN one's own standard of morals is fixed, 
His ideas are found to be slightly mixed ; 
The trouble is, he has placed them so high — 
He never can reach them, unless he can fly. 



BLUFF 

THE STRENGTH OP ASSERTION. 

T is not always in language rough. 

That man is compelled to face a bluff; — 
Women there are so skilled in the art. 
They can steal man's purse, yet win his heart. 
228 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MISTAKES 

ERRORS OF JUDGMENT. 

IpliEN make mistakes in moving slow, 

But more when driving fast ; — 
It's safer to travel a road you know, 
And use your own resources last. 



AGGRAVATION 

THE PROVOCATION OF HOSTILITY. 

/^GGRAVATION by prudence is often concealed. 

But through open hostility always revealed ; 
The most aggravating occurrence I know 
Is to have someone say, " I told you so." 



LAGGARD 

A GOOD-NATURED HANDICAP. 

y^LWAYS found somewhere in the rear, 

Never known on time to appear, — 
His is a life filled with excuses, 
Though he protests it's full of abuses. 

22q 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MISANTHROPE 

ONE WITH DISEASED IMAGINATION. 

y^ DOCTOR to a misanthrope promised a cure, 
If he'd wear the warm shirt of a man that 
w;as pure ; 
After searching for years, he found the right man ; 
But he wore no shirt ; that defeated the plan. 

DISSIPATION 

OVERINDULGENCE IN PLEASURE. 

(f^VERINDULGENCE pleasure spoils. 

And wrecks its owner in time ; 
Dissipation abounds in toils, 
And frequently ends in crime. 

* 
SPENDTHRIFT 

AN INJURY TO HUMANITY. 

'tPHE temptation to follow a spendthrift's course 

Should be controlled by law and force ; — 
Any fool can spend what a wise man makes. 
But the example to others of danger partakes. 

2JO 




DISSIPATION,. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



TEMPTATION 

MAN'S BESETTING SIN. 

/^LWAYS present without and within, 
Temptation is man's besetting sin;- 
Forever decoying with wily arts, 
Testing the courage of strongest hearts. 



TIPPLING 

A MOST PERNICIOUS HABIT. 

/f^NE to be sociable often drinks 

A greater amount than he really thinks ; — 
If he'd carefully measure the quantity taken. 
Trust in his own sense would be badly shaken. 

* 
SELF RESPECT 

THE CONSCIOUSNESS OP RIGHT. 

OTHENE'ER an honest act is shown, 
Self respect has surely grown ; — 
Deceit oft gives an imitation, 
But its life is not of long* duration. 
S31 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



OPULENCE 

EXCESSIVE WEALTH. 

^HILE all to opulence aspire, 

Possession makes a strong- desire 
For luxuries that prove a curse, 
And by comparison are worse. 

EaUITY 

WHAT THE LAW ALLOWS YOU. 

p?ROPERTY rights are clearly defined - 
Personal rights are also combined ; — 
Equity's right covers both as a whole, — 
Spiritual rights deal alone with the soul. 



ORGANIZATION 

THE CONTROLLING FORCE OP POWER. 

^HEN organization is complete, 

It can within its sphere compete;- 
Unlimited power never passes 
Unless permitted by the masses. 
232 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



EAVESDROPPER 

CURIOSITY'S DETECTIVE. 

y^LWAYS sneaking and prying around, 

Where gossip and secrets do most abound ; 
Rolling sweet morsels under the tongue, 
Surely this creature from sin has sprung. 



SUSPENSE 

THE FETTERS OF HOPE. 

||=jjOPE, when b.attered to the ground. 
Or by suspense in fetters bound, 
Decries each golden moment past, — 
Then mocks at all when freed at last. 



DISCIPLINE 

THE PREREQUISITE OP ORGANIZATION. 

'tT'HE greater victories are obtained 

Through combined forces well maintained ; 
Discipline faces the cannon's breath, 
Nor fears contagion, war, nor death. 

233 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



MORTGAGE 

THE DESTROYER OF EQUITY. 

W^AN will pledge his whole estate 

To meet conditions of promise great; 
But when too late the lesson's learned, 
That things of value must be earned. 



COURAGE 

THE FORCE OF CONVICTION. 

^ OURAGE when born of conviction, 
Resists all attempts at restriction ; 
Fearless independence makes one strong. 
Protects the weak and rights the wrong. 

* 
DEBT 

OFTEN A STIMULANT. 

y^N honest debtor, in attempt to pay. 

Will save a little every day ; 
Debt, as a stimulant, often serves 
To call out unsuspected reserves, 

234 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



KINDNESS 

A PAYING INVESTMENT. 



'if'HE interest here is always paid, 

Even though for a time it be mislaid ; 
Kindness strips opposition bare, — 
Soothes all sorrow, lessens care. 



VEXATION 

THE IRRITATION OF DISAPPOINTMENT. 

MEXATION, like temper, is best concealed 

Till irritation has been healed ; — 
Its presence usually riiakes bad worse, 
And leaves the imprint of its curse. 



MISSING LINK 

THE ACCIDENT OF INHERITANCE. 

IAS man always human, or once a brute? 
Is what puzzles even the most astute ; - 
But life is too short, better let it pass. 
And be thankful that you are not an ass. 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



CONNOISSEUR 

A CLEVER CRITIC. 



/g\UALIFIED by education, 

Experienced by observation,- 
His subtle skill in explanation 
Wins your worthy admiration. 



ATTRACTION 

THE MAGNETISM OF THOUGHT. 

ff IJNLIKE the pendulum in its swing, 

Attraction's in one direction; 
The magnetism of thought will bring 
Its pleasures without deflection. 



THEATER 

SPECTACULAR IMPERSONATIONS. 

i^LL the world's a stage, 
Every man a factor ; 
No use to go to crowded halls 
To find a modern actor. 
236 



11 W s, 



SENSE AND SATIRE. 



INSOLENCE 

THE IMPUDENCE OF WEAKNESS. 

i^ LION visited an ass one day, 

And inquired the cause of his "mournful bray"; 
The ass replied, with insolence grim, 
That he was only trying to imitate him. 



DENOMINATIONS 

RELIGIOUS GATHERINGS UPHOLDING FORM. 

JJARRING and jostling each other about, 
Intolerance often puts truth to rout ; — 
All religions in the same direction trend, 
Expecting relief when they reach the end. 

GENEALOGY 

A FAMILY RECORD OFTEN BETTER BURNED. 

y^ WOMAN explained with haughty mien, 

At a notable legation ball. 
How she was a direct descendant from one 
Who was never married at all. 

237 










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